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Keep Seeing the Patterns To Break Them

After being left, I found myself inventing a super structured daily schedule. It kept me busy. I couldn’t sleep in all day like my depression wanted me to. That was a very good thing. I was in such despair, that I wrote down the tiniest, most normal things. Even though they didn’t need to be put on a calendar.

It helped me to sit down the night before and fill in my next day. Set alarm, make bed, start laundry, eat breakfast. Do stretches to get the kinks out. Shower, check emails. Blah-blah-blah. Those types of mundane actions helped me sleep at night. Knowing I would not be sitting on my balcony, staring at the horizon, wondering what the heck had become of My Life.

What was helpful in those early months, started to feel like a crutch. As my psyche healed I needed a change. I felt if I didn’t watch this pattern, I would live the same life every day. Didn’t sound like what I was yearning for. A daily life makeover.

As I implemented changes, even the smallest do-over became a victory. I stopped feeling if I didn’t take my morning 30-minute walk I was letting myself down. Where’d that crop up from? I made a pact with myself to remove all that needs to be removed. Like all the notices under magnets on the side of my fridge. Do I need to see this cluttered mess? I wasn’t going to do half of those things. I was kidding myself. “Future plans! I’m rocking’ life!” Um, no.

Goodbye to familiar. Hello new and unknown. I checked out a cute new cafe. Turns out they ONLY serve crepes. Well, when was the last time I had a freshly made crepe filled with strawberries? This notion was becoming delicious. The more I explored, the more fun unplanned locations and events popped up on their own. What do you know? I guess I’m living this thing called Life! Looks like the brand new Shake Shack that recently opened will be my next adventure. And then, see the wild poppies growing everywhere this year.

Do you have daily patterns? Perhaps it’s time to mix things up. Stop at a local florist. See if the lilacs and peonies are in bloom yet. Drive to the river or the ocean. Breathe deeply. Start anew. It’s what life’s about. Leave the square on the calendar blank for a few days. See how different you feel. Also, paint your fingernails blue or black for once. I know you want to!

We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together! And check out my book, “Restarting Your Life When You Are. No Longer A Wife” I wrote it just for you!

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