His moving out is Your moving on. There are a lot of emotions to get through, I know. Some things still make me angry. At the “Splitting Up The Material Things” phase of the breakup, my Ex got very snarky. He would no longer actually speak to me, so every communication was via email.
That was hurtful in and of itself. That HE, the one who was cheating, so despised ME, the one he walked out on, was infuriating enough. But it got even worse than the not speaking directly to me thing. It was the anger he displayed over the material things that was the most hurtful. “I want the vintage poster in the kitchen!” he nagged. “It yours” I wrote back, unemotionally. Exchanges like this went on for months. He would take weeks to email me back. I’d sold the house and had to start selling things. So I did. He went ballistic over the sale of our formal dining room set even though he lived in an apartment with no dining room AND I gave him half the money! What?!
But it wasn’t the ugly tone of his communication that hurt me. It was the fact that there was no mention of what was really happening. This was not a business transaction! This was the dissolution of 24 years as a couple. Wasn’t he the least bit sad? The least bit nostalgic?
Couldn’t he see how cruel it was for me to realize he had erased the chalkboard of our shared life with one swipe?
A few days before he was coming for his things, I sent him an item by item list of every single thing in every single room. The morning of the move, I let him in and left.
I came back to the now-half-empty house we had shared. It was eerie. But, as the sun set, leaving a spectacular color display out my kitchen window, I felt unburdened by this divorce for the first time. There literally was a new light shining in on me! And I realized I was going to make it. Spectacularly make it! I was okay. I know this will happen for you too. If you are in this phase, my advice is let him take whatever stupid item he wants so you can be rid of his ugliness once and for all and bask in the sunlight of your New Days.
They are coming your way.
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!