When you keep reaching out to your Ex, you are really reaching backward to the unhappy life that made you miserable. Why do we do that? “Helping” is oftentimes just manipulation. A psyche trick that makes us think we are wonderful Ex-wives.
Please stop. I am begging you to never help him ever again. As in not ever. Zippo. Let’s look at the difference in the good vs. bad types of helping others. Cooking for a friend who is laid up is a very nice thing that all good friends do. Not only do we not want reciprocation, we actually bat it away when offered by the gracious person we helped.
Offering assistance to your long-gone Ex on a pretty constant basis is the sign of a gal who won’t let go of what was.
That current “helping” hand is a trick from the Old You that feels comfortable. The still pained part of you is secretly hoping if you reach out to him, he will reach back.
The New You needs to slap that hand away. It’s actually a Hindering hand.
Withdraw that helping hand and pat yourself on the back with it right now. Doesn’t that feel better? There’s a lot to be said for “having a free hand.” Much can be accomplished with it. Keep your hands to yourself and take the actions needed to accomplish life goals. Make a specific plan and enact it.
In meditation, hands rest on the knees, palms up. This is a state of grace, acceptance, and belief. Unfist the anger, open those hands to the sky and accept the gifts that are about to fill the Giant living in the seed you have been clenching. Grow sister, grow.
Photography by Daniel Hjalmarsson
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!