When I was a growing girl, I was always starving. Tiny me would pour my change into a vending machine on tip-toe. It seemed forever until my blackberry Hostess Fruit Pie untwined itself and fell from it’s perch. It’d be gone in three bites: a pre-dinner appetizer. The thing about most snacks when you’re little is, it’s almost impossible to finish them. But there’s no tucking away a half eaten fruit pie in your junk drawer. It’s made to be one serving. In your little mind, the idea of eating the entire pie is actually more exciting than actually downing the whole thing. So half of the secret snack gets chucked before we walk through the back door.
Now that you are an adult and on your own for the first time in a long time, there’s a hungry question pang-ing around. Are you filling up on as much Life as you could be?
Right after I was left, my answer was a resounding, “No!” There were hundreds of good-sounding reasons to justify living a half-life. “I’m used to doing couple things,” sounded convincing to my shattered heart. “Sitting through an entire movie alone makes me feel like a loser,” said the part of my psyche that still blamed myself for his betrayal. (God, I hate her!) Or the one that STILL won’t get off my back to this day: “Traveling alone would make me seem creepy.” Or, the reason not to do a group travel thing: “I could hate all the other people on the trip for some reason. Then, I’m stuck with them!” And the kicker: “What if I get deathly ill from a mosquito?”
Hence my ongoing Half-A-Life dilemma. How do we as adults get to this stifling place?
Kids know how to act on instinct. Young Me wanted a fruit pie so I bought one and starting ripping that waxy paper covering before one toe was even out the school door. Some days I ate half the pie and chucked it gleefully licking the blackberry pie filling off my teeth to hide the evidence of my joyous tummy adventure. Other days I ate it all and dinner was ruined. That was the consequence I accepted to enjoy every lip-smacking bite of my secret treat.
Because you can’t put the filling back into the half-eaten pie. And since being leftat50, perhaps we’ve been walking around feeling like half of a person. Coupleless. Exposed. But that way of thinking won’t just spoil our dinner. It will spoil our lives. We must now realize that we are whole, all by our amazing selves. Our other-half went away, and took his half-truths with him!
You have to see the deliciousness of your new situation. Pick up the treat that consequences have conspired to give you.
If you are still in the “I’m so overwhelmed, I shouldn’t do this right now” mode I urge you to think of your life as that half-eaten pie. Because guess what? You don’t have a choice. And sometimes doing what is right in front of you is exactly the action you need to take! It is your yummy, gooey, imperfect but oh-so-tasty future. There will be a fullness, a contentment, a sense that all is right and good.
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!