Valentine’s Day is approaching. If you were left at 50, it still can feel like the “Valentine Minefield” instead of just another day, because it’s not merely another day. What’s in every store you walk through? What is every commercial about? Flowers, and candy, and diamond rings, and blah, blah, blah. You can be the bitter one who pooh-poohs it and says it’s a stupid, made-up holiday to sell cards and flowers. Or you can accept a gift I am giving you—a template for a Relationship Goodbye Letter. You can read it and expound on it anyway you please. Ladies, here we go:
Dear Relationship with Blank,
Well, it’s Valentine’s Day. The perfect day to write a Goodbye Letter to Our Relationship. It’s been over for quite some time now (especially for you). So, as of this day and this letter, I am also signing off. Choosing myself every day.
This is a letter of Acceptance of What Is. Letting go of What Was, so that my heart and mind can heal. To help keep me steady on my own two feet as I move on. Single is an opportunity to live life on my own terms. First and foremost, there will be no more expectations. Whenever I may start to have Magical thinking about a phone call from you, I’ll make myself stop. I’ll tell myself, “It’s not about Him anymore, it’s about Me.” This day is what I choose to make it. Happiness or Heartache. I choose happiness.
I feel stronger every day, and the faith I had in myself, which had been so shaken for so long, is returning.
The tears are gone for the most part. I will fondly remember the good times, but only now and then. Not a pining heart, just a blip. I no longer hold out any hope of ever hearing from or seeing you again. Thank you for all the good times we shared. They give me hope that I will find them again, with someone who truly honors, appreciates, and treasures who I am. Starting with knowing that self-love is the best love.
Sincerely,
ME
Do I wear my heart-shaped glasses this Galentine’s Day? As a lady of a certain age with no date on the docket, do I decide to see my world as loveless? Or perhaps I turn off all the commercials about love and hearts and diamonds? Do I loudly sing a heart-song (or let Michael Buble´ do it) to appreciate the fact that the loveless years with the Ex are beyond the horizon? Better solo than in a dead-end relationship.
One of the zillions of great things about being a woman is that we are wonderfully able to reach out to each other and have fun. I googled “Galentine’s Day” and literally hundreds of events came up! Our motto is “Sisters before misters.”
Ever since the character of Leslie Knope on the sitcom “Parks and Recreation” proclaimed February 13th Galentines day, the idea of women celebrating together has become a phenomenon. Women are gathering everywhere, from gluten-free bakeries to coloring and crafting parties to potlucks to have their own kind of fun. “Bra-Less” baking parties? Why not? This is a day to celebrate, not isolate.
Because who appreciates hearts and flowers and chocolates more than a group of women? It’s a good day for us, not a sad day.
We will be looking forward to not having our hearts broken once again for the half-hearted flowers that used to show up at the door during those “ending years.”
“Thanks, honey,” you would say dryly to the back of his head as he sat on the couch watching old episodes of “The Sopranos” in silence. How uncomfortable was that? Thank you-next!
“Hey! I don’t love you, and you don’t love me. Happy Valentine’s Day!” How do you find a card for that?
Luckily for us, those days are over. All of us Unvalentined gals can skip through this day joyfully. We are free of the loveless days and nights we suffered through. This is not a Lonely Hearts Club. We weigh the fun decision of whether to buy ourselves a piece of jewelry or a red velvet brownie. (They are really both the same value to us, aren’t they? Ha!) Being single doesn’t define you—you’re amazing exactly as you are.
And if a Liam Hemsworth/Bradley Cooper/Michael B. Jordan movie night is suggested, well, a Galentine’s gotta do what a Galentine’s gotta do!!
So put on your heart-shaped glasses and enjoy this day the way Cupid intended – with all of the wonderful gals who support each other. We may be alone, but we’re not lonely. Congratulations on not being in a couple with phony love gestures anymore. That’s not what Cupid would have wanted. The only empty heart this year will be the three-pound box of See’s candy you tear through. (Just don’t be too mean to the gal who eats the last piece!)
Happy Galentine’s/Valentine’s Day to All You Left at 50’s. We will get through this one together! xoxoxo
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through the Leftat50.com website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, ‘Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)?’ Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together! And check out my book, “Restarting Your Life When You Are. No Longer A Wife,” I wrote it just for you!