When you are too close to something, you cannot see it. We cannot see the planet we are on, for instance. Such as it also with past relationships. That is why all those phrases like, “leave it behind” exist. “Move on,” people tell you. “He’s moved on, you need to also.” But many of us choose to keep our pain close to us. To continue to live inside of it. Because if we keep it close, we cannot examine it. No telescope needed. You don’t need a telescope to see an ant on the ground. But you do need one to see a faraway star or planet.
This is why moving on and away is so important. Lingering in the past keeps us there, unable to analyze, make judgments, and choose to leave it.
Let it get small. The way we lose sight of our town as the plane takes us higher, higher and away from all we have known. When on vacation, we excitedly head toward a new destination. Assuming the unknown will be wonderful. The Grand Canyon, the Mediterranean Sea, the Smokey Mountains.
But in leaving our long-term relationship that doesn’t even exist anymore, we move like molasses. Because in our real life, it’s permanent. There is no familiar life to go back to. All has changed. How we live each and every moment. Who we live those moments with. The future we try to plan.
Just being left is a lesson in the fact that we cannot plan our future. Because the actions of others affect us. It was the person we trusted the most that changed our lives. Now it’s all up to us. And unlike vacation, where we happily anticipate the next corner we turn will reveal something wonderful and worth exploring, we never do that with this new life.
Why all the fear and trepidation? Because we are alone now? Can’t that be a good thing? Lots of folks take Solo Vacations. Surely there is some way to enjoy a Solo Life. Take it from me, it’s a mindset game. And it probably won’t happen overnight. But if we begin to think that way, anticipating good things, I am here to tell you that is exactly what will come to pass.
But again, that can only happen if we move out of it. Away from it. Getting that overall perspective that time and distance provide. I hope this way of thinking will give you a sensible reason to move on. That it will encourage you to turn your back on that Ex. The same way he has on you. He decided to start over. And that meant leaving you behind. The relationship, the memories, the house. Every vestige of your life together. Yep, as mean as it sounds, that’s exactly what he did to you. I get the hurt. But the only way out of that is the decision for you to walk away too. Heck, run for the hills! They’ve been waiting to share their glory and splendor with you. Breath some new air. Look at a new horizon.
This year in Los Angeles, we had a lot of rain. It caused bad things like horrible flooding, but this spring, there is a Super Bloom because of it. This means that for the first time in years, California’s wild poppies are popping up everywhere! The last Super Bloom in 2019, was so massive, it could be seen from space. Talk about a new perspective!
This year, I am planning on traipsing out to take it in. Up close. I will be one amongst the poppies! It will be so worth it to have lived through the rainy December. The one that canceled the New Year’s Eve fireworks. That bad time is over. And in the near future I can plan on a wonderful afternoon spent with other folks who are into poppy season also. Who feel blessed to live where they live. Where Mother Nature chooses to put on a show like no other.
Your rainstorm is over. Step out and away. Your own bloom is waiting. Go find out where and how it will happen. Be joyful you survived that storm. The payoff is coming as long as you live in the present and the future.
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!