Visit Page
Skip to content

The Discomfort of Being Seen

Getting used to people meeting the New You, the single you, the “just” you, is uncomfortable because many of us have not been seen in awhile. It’s not that we’ve been hiding away. In our society, when a woman stands beside her man, she’s often not really seen. Maybe because men are usually taller than women, and are more eye-to-eye. Or perhaps it’s just an ingrained societal reaction to a couple.

All I know is, it’s a fact that after a break-up there can be hesitation about heading out to old “couple” situations. This happened to me, on and off for about a year-and-a-half. Suddenly I was the one engaging with all of the people at the event. Without a man by my side, I was suddenly noticed and expected to have general conversation about what-not.

Obviously, we do this with our female friends all the time. But women-only social events, like showers and birthdays are not places where we feel the need to make a good impression.

In these new situations we can be whatever version of ourselves we want to be.

It’s not like we don’t know how to socialize. But it takes some getting used to the feeling that the spotlight is on you.

When you arrive and are introduced to new people there is an immediate impression. What part of the single you do you want them to see? The Career-woman, the Athlete, the Grandmother, the Accomplished Pianist, the Social Butterfly?

This is all part of the journey of self discovery Fate has decided to put us on. It can take awhile to feel comfortable.

I have discovered ways to inch you back into being seen.

One tactic I used early on, especially during holidays, is arriving late. Late is better than early because the event is almost over and everyone will be leaving anyway, so your departure won’t seem odd.

Another tactic is to help out with pouring drinks or punch or whatever people are having. It’s an easy way to get to know people. Who drinks alcohol, who doesn’t, who’s doing Keto, etc. You can find out alot about people that way.

Resist the urge to hide in the kitchen at all social events and the urge to hang out in the ladies room at business events. Hand out your new business cards that you just designed for the new you, if it’s appropriate. That in itself will give you an opportunity to get to know others through their cards.

The new folks you are meeting as you head back out have no idea that you were left or how old you are and no one cares!

This is why getting away from your same-old circle of gal-pals is important.

Trust me, I know this is rough. But getting back out there is important and ultimately fun. The discomfort of being seen will become a distant memory that you get past and it never revisits you again. Kind of like your Ex. Ha!

We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This