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“OK” is not An Acceptable Description of the New You

After becoming a Leftat50, it is easy to routinely answer the “How are you?” question with the slight smile followed by “Ok.” Ladies, you are not living a 2-letter life! Why are you minimizing yourself? Surely way more fabulous descriptions could and should be used.  Start using them! You are now an exciting successful Sexy (yes, I said it) lady! The answer to how you are must begin to reflect that!

We deserve to be bold, I dare say, Cocky! “Never been better!” “Fantastic!” “I’ve been tearing it up!”

Right after being left at 50, or any age, it truthfully is hard to answer the “How Are You?” question with anything but an “Ok.”  There are just too many complicated emotions, right?  The late-night insecurities, the “How’d this happens?,” the “I have no idea what I’m doings.”  That old standby word “Ok” seems like a good way to go.

 The problem with the “Ok” though is that by it’s very definition, it’s a mediocre way of being. It’s like saying, “My life is acceptable, or satisfactory, or BEIGE.” When did we start living a beige life?

Is that really what we deserve after all we have been through?  I don’t think so. There is nothing wrong with coming up with better responses, so at social events there is no awkward pause when someone inquires as to how you are doing.  There has to be a more positive sounding and self-empowering answer.  Something not too generic, but not so bogged down with honesty that the person feels uncomfortable.

I mean, we can’t say, “Well, I feel totally alone and lost and angry and cheated on.” That type of thing.  In the realm of casual conversation we know that’s not the way to go.  I think that coming up with these appropriate responses is a good idea for all of us Leftat50’s. 

We’re starting our lives over here!  We don’t want to describe it as just Ok.

Stuck? Here’s a few examples to get you started. “I’m certainly in a more upbeat mood these days.” ” I’m making big plans for the future! I might take a trip, or  go on a cruise.”   Whatever your newfound bliss is nudging you towards will become your answer. 

I guess what I’m doing here is suggesting that we all think about rewriting our  socializing scripts sooner rather than later.  The more we re-categorize ourselves, the better it is for us. When meeting new people now, I don’t bother to say I’m divorced.  I just say I’m single. Because that response doesn’t come weighed down with any baggage that I might have to sort through in my heart of hearts.

We must lay claim to more.  We deserve to say we are doing great.  We’ve really adjusted.  We’re glad it happened and we’re in a good place.  We are incredibly life-smart women!

Leftat50s know a thing or two about a thing or two about our own stories . We are just writing our stories in a different way now.  And that’s okay – in the best way possible!

Photo by Bharat Patil

We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!

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