There was a pure-love moment. When everything was right. It was right because it was easy. It took no planning, no forethought. In every relationship there is a period of, let’s say two years where everything just works! Waking up in bliss, pure love and total trust. Deep heart feelings, the likes of which you could have only dreamed of. That old saying, “A match made in heaven” feels like it was invented for you and your partner. Incredible physical attraction exists. All of those late night “sessions” that you knew would leave you both exhausted in the morning. Yet, they were so worth it. A bonding. A couple hood. A secret smile across a room. The two of you are the lucky ones. The couple compulsion to check in with each other a hundred times a day. This level of commitment would never, ever, in a million years be laid asunder.
Isn’t this the reason we get into long term relationships with another human being? To be our true selves, loved for who we are, and who we are not. It’s all good. In fact, it’s excellent.
How do all the days and nights together become a heart betrayal so primal, it seems our very DNA has forever shifted. We actually FEEL different. Not ourselves. We were the Happy Part of A Couple Person. We had love, security, affection and trust. Every moment of that time period, we felt we were the luckiest of women. We had found a decent man.
Then the day came when he didn’t come home. The explanation seemed creaky. We did not want to believe what we knew in our hearts to be true. Our partner was sleeping with someone else. The physical rejection, the “what is wrong with me” comes first.
We may spend months, or even years, (like I did) gathering the evidence that we cannot stand gathering. When did I become the Evidence Gatherer? The Wife having to be the Confronter?! I do not want this role!
Like a pinprick in a balloon, all the air escaped from our love. Oh. My. God. All of our plans will not be taking place.
The pain is real. A circumstance we must live through. And we do. We must now do the one thing we never dreamed doing in the old days when we lived on spaghetti in a hot apartment and dreamed of a better future for both of us.
We have to go on alone and be okay with it. And so, that is exactly what we do. For worse? Not at all. For better lives we all so richly deserve.
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!