It’s Thanksgiving week, and the table will be set, the turkey (or alternative) will take its throne, and the familiar hum of family, food, and gratitude will surround us. But if you’re reading this and feeling a little untuned– maybe you’re newly single, or stepping into the “restart” phase of your life after 50– you might be thinking: I’m thankful… but not quite there yet.
I get it, and I know the feeling. I was left after a 24-year relationship when I turned 50. I’ve sat at many tables alone inside my own head, wondering if the “holiday joy” just wasn’t coded for women like me anymore. But here’s what I’ve learned: gratitude isn’t measured by how “perfect” everything looks — it’s found in how real things are.
The Messy Thanksgiving
Let’s be real: the mashed potatoes will drip off the edges, the gravy will gloop, someone will mention the “old” Thanksgiving when it felt easier, and a drawer will squeak just at the wrong moment. That mess? That’s proof you’re alive, you’re here, you’re still participating. Being thankful doesn’t mean pretending things are flawless — it means acknowledging both the beauty and the brokenness.
The Middle Ground of Loss & Hope
Here’s your seat at the “in-between” table: you’re not naively optimistic, and you’re not stuck in regret. You’re somewhere in the middle — and that’s a strong place. You might be thankful for the people who stayed, the ones who left, the table that grew smaller, the one that might grow larger. You might be thankful for yourself — your resilience, your choice, your scars.
Remember: this isn’t a pity party. It’s a gratitude gathering. And gratitude isn’t always loud and shiny — sometimes it’s the soft exhale when you realize you still get to choose.
A Few Thankful Moves for Your Table
• Write out three things this year that you can be thankful for — yes, even if one of them is simply “I survived the being-left-part.”
• Invite one person to share a part of your table or your conversation: a friend, a neighbor, someone you’ve reconnected with as you walk your new path.
• Let something go: maybe the expectation of “perfect,” maybe the version of Thanksgiving that no longer fits. Replace it with something you want this year.
• When the meal is over, and the dishes still sit, take a moment to give yourself some quiet gratitude. It doesn’t need to be spoken—just felt.
Final Words
This holiday, I’m thankful for you — yes, you. The woman who still rises, who still says “Yes, I’m moving forward,” who still shows up even when the map has changed. You may have been left, but you’re not done. You’re gathering mountains of meaning even in the small moments.
So sit tall. Let the candles flicker. Let the turkey or casserole or whatever you love take its place. Raise your glass (or mug). And say: “Here’s to what was, what is, and what will be.”
Happy Thanksgiving. Thankful for the meal, the mess, and the middle ground.
— Diane
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through the Leftat50.com website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, ‘Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)?’ Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together! And check out my book, “Restarting Your Life When You Are. No Longer A Wife,” I wrote it just for you!