I was just talking to a girlfriend who is really unhappy with the way her hair looks, yet she will not “divorce” her hairdresser and give mine a try. Even though every time she sees me she exclaims how awesome she thinks my hair looks, she will not even go have a free consult with my hairdresser. She is, as we speak, getting her hair done. And she will settle for the unsatisfactory results. It got me to thinking that this scenario is a lot like ending a marriage. It can take awhile.
I will confess that I have been through this myself. Perhaps you have, or, after reading this, are about to make this change. After I was Leftat50, I knew I wanted to upgrade my look. But how? Who would I trust to best the mediocre job my hairdresser of over 20 years was now doing? Just like a marriage, I felt disrespected by her laziness concerning me, one of her longest customers. So many times I’d show up at my appointed time, only to be told she was an hour behind and I should go do something else! What?! Disrespectful. Or I’d make an appointment with her and she’d have some child/woman who was a hairdresser in training start applying my highlights or something. I felt uncomfortable. Am I supposed to tip this person too? Much like my marriage, this treatment was not what I signed up for! Our time at a hairdresser should feel like something special. A new look perhaps, or a great head massage just because.
I knew I’d had it, yet much like my girlfriend, I stayed in this “relationship”! After all, our hairdressers are kind of more than just people who do our hair. Over the years, they become our confidants, people we run life-stuff past. For me, there were times during my break-up that I’d be sitting in the chair covering my grey roots and quietly crying. She’d offer me a hug. It was nice.
But still. My hair was so dry all the time and I really was sick of the abuse of my loyalty. I decided to throw caution to the wind. I saw a new salon in my neighborhood that looked modern and clean. It turned out each hairdresser has her own room that is her own business. I loved that! There was no way this person could keep me waiting if she’s only booking one gal at a time!
I didn’t stress over the change. I’m out on my own now! I need a whole new everything to up my self esteem. I love this new hairdresser. She is funny and cool and let’s me bring my little dog and will even buy me lunch if I call and order before I get there. She’s up on all the latest styles and colors and she’s just an interesting person. We’ve bonded in a more substantial way then I had with my old hairdresser. A lot of time had passed between us, and the client/hairdresser relationship had grown stale. Sound familiar?
People have been noticing how awesome my new hairstyle is! Because my new hairdresser looked at me with fresh eyes and came up with a cool, updated hairstyle and is very knowledgeable about what happens to the hair of women of a “certain age”. Wow.
I never called my old hairdresser to tell her I had divorced her. I just stopped booking appointments. She called once and left a message that I was overdue for my color. I didn’t return the call. I didn’t stress over it. I realize now that after going through a painful divorce and knowing how good that ultimately was for me, I had a right to move on.
That was over two years ago. You might be wondering if, much like in a romance movie, I ever ran into my Ex-hairdresser again. In fact, I did. In the parking lot of the strip mall where her business is located. I was there to go to another store. She must’ve seen me through her window. I was already in my car when I looked up and there she was, wedging her body between my car and the one next to me! She startled me when she knocked on my car window and then there she was, asking me though my closed window what happened to me. I started my car and rolled down the window. I explained to her that after over twenty years, it was time for a change. I’d found someone new and I was really happy. She faked being happy for me and unwedged herself. I drove away. And that was that.
As I finish writing this, my girlfriend is under the hand of her mediocre hairdresser, settling for the same old same old. I hope you will take the risk and make the change. You can do it. You deserve to do it. The New You is crying out for it. Divorce your hairdresser!
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!