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When Crazy Becomes Normal, It’s Over

When crazy actions become normal every day goings on, guess what: it’s over.  Ladies, believe me when I tell you how SLOWLY the crazy creeps in.  Everyday in your strained relationship, subtle actions that you have to take to keep a semblance of normal in your household start to take hold.

This relationship roulette is a game more complicated than a New York Times crossword puzzle.  You may find yourself feeling happy for two seconds when one of your crazy strategies actually works.

Here’s an example: If You Are Keeping A Journal To Use In Future “I Never Said That” fights, something is very wrong.

I know that which I speak of.  As my relationship was at about the mid-point of crazy, I was certain I was a genius who was gonna stick it to him good. I felt powerful as I started scribbling down things he said or refused to answer on whatever day it was.  It became my post-fight ritual that I cockily kept to myself, just praying for the right time in the future to quote him back to himself from the perch of my very high horse.

The realistically sad part was, I was so deep into the daily quarrel, I could no longer recall that Most Couples Do Not Keep Fight Diaries!

We were both into crazy-seems-normal territory!

This is a very unhealthy place to be.  It’s obvious how when spouses begin this negative behavior that feels positive, terrible things can start happening.  Lines get crossed as to what proper conflict resolution is. Post-fight twenty years ago,  you went and hung out with your pals for awhile and complained.  Then you came home and made it right.  But at the End that you don’t realize is the End, it’s not just door slamming and stomping and yelling.  An evil underbelly belies both of your true feelings and it simply cannot stay unsaid or not acted upon.

My dear Leftat50’s, are any of you relating to this description?  If so, take a step back.  Throw out  your version of the “fight journal” that you are going to “get him good” with.  Realize that this is but a symptom of the fact that the love is gone.  That it’s all about winning or insulting or proving your point for what again? Take note.  Because this is a really edgy time at the end of  your union.  Don’t let it go too far.  Don’t let him take it too far.

Call the lawyer.  Sign the papers.  Move on.

We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!

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