I’ve heard all of the complaints lately about technology taking over our lives in detrimental ways. But, it’s a single woman’s dream come true. After the divorce, starting over, I have discovered one very large, positive, and useful tool that’s changed my life.
Back in the day, women were taught to find a man to help them with household chores. Or car stuff, or unclogging a drain. But we are all free of that nonsense. Asking and saying we “don’t want to be a bother but…” Of course, when it never got done and we brought it up again, we’d hear the old standby, “I got busy and forgot.”
None of that matters since we have access to a helpful husband named YouTube.
Everything anyone could need information on is there for the discovering. When I searched, I found more answers to my query than I could have dreamed of. The results also note how long the video answer is. Talk about showing and not telling. This is the epitome of hearing those fabulous two words: “Yes, dear.” I’m not trying to get anyone off a couch, away from a game, or a pizza box. I know you know what I mean.
The other great thing about YouTube searching for answers is that if I don’t catch it all on the first go, I can rewatch it as many times as I need to. In the past six months, I’ve looked up numerous topics and always found an answer—one that I actually understood, told with no undercurrent of bitterness. In fact, these people speak slowly and really want to share what workaround or shortcut they’ve discovered. There are nice people out there in YouTube Land. There’s a lot of support that helps with the emotional healing after divorce.
I discovered an easy back-saving way to move a heavy nightstand by myself.
Per my YouTube Fixer, I simply slide a small rug under it and boom! I can drag it where I want with ease. No floor scratches. Not a single “uh-oh, I think I pulled something in my back” regret. With the treasure trove of easily accessible information, I haven’t had to touch an ice pack in months.
Did you know that if you get a small ding on your car, you can fix it for nothing? Simply pour very warm water on the dent, then put a toilet plunger over the dent and pull. Out it pops. I actually did this for a friend whose new car got dinged at the grocery store. She came over bummed out and left smiling.
I could not figure out how to get my darned remote open to change the batteries. My YouTube husband kindly and patiently showed me how. Impact of kindness. From cooking tips to gutter cleaning, it’s all there for the viewing. No more hiring anybody. I once waited all day for a man to help me with a fuse box. He trudged in at 8 p.m. when I was about to put on my PJs. He stomped through the door and over to my fusebox, changed the fuse, and stomped out. How rude! Not a word. No eye contact either. But he did leave me some filthy shoe prints to mop up. No more ruined evenings with a grumpy man.
Plus, it feels nice being handy.
It’s a great tool to cope with work-related stress to feel empowered to fix things. Years ago, I bought myself an entire toolkit. It has a hammer, screw drivers, pliers, a level, a measuring tape and a bunch of other tools I didn’t even know I needed.. (Needle-nosed pliers, anyone?) I highly recommend getting one. They now make toolkits that fit women’s hands. That’s what my set has. I feel so liberated anytime I bring it to a girlfriend’s house to help her with something. I am now known as “the handy friend.” I’ll take it.
When a galpal complained to me that her mechanic was going to charge her seventy-five dollars per headlight to polish them up, I put a stop to that. One search and I found out they can be cleaned using plain toothpaste. I saved my friend one hundred and fifty dollars. Thanks, YouTube Handy People.
This persona didn’t happen overnight.
When I was first on my own, I dreaded changing a lightbulb. I couldn’t fathom standing on the step stool without someone else there to spot me in case I fell. Then I needed to change a filter in the ceiling so the air conditioner would stop sounding weird. Baby steps. All of us brand-new Leftat50s learn to take them. Steps for a mental health crisis
Task by task, my self-sufficiency muscles developed. Then, I discovered all the information on YouTube. A universe of helpful people pleasantly posting every kind of task imaginable. The more topics I searched for, the more helpful answers I found. In droves. You can take your pick of whichever way you choose to fix your issue. I am living the stress-free “I can probably fix it myself” life. I pass this along so maybe you will fear AI a little less. There are practical uses and more where this one came from, I’m sure.
It also made me realize the tiny things in this living alone life that I stress way too much over.
Perhaps it’s simply the times we live in. Every little thing feels like a catastrophe sometimes. But my YouTube lesson taught me that that may be wrong thinking. Now I stop and think, “Is there something else I could do about this stressful situation that I am not enjoying?” This led me to walk out of an impossibly long Trader Joe’s line on a lovely Saturday afternoon. “Do I really need to buy these things right now?” I thought. The answers came quickly. I really didn’t need any of it. I put my basket down and left. It felt so freeing to get in my car, leave the tight parking spot, and go on my way.
Stuck on a freeway in a huge traffic jam, I opted to get off the freeway at the next exit and take side streets back home. I took off my hot shoes, grabbed some fro-yo, and sat on my porch in the sunshine. My goodness, life doesn’t have to be aggravating if I don’t want it to be. It’s really all up to me! There are very few things that cannot wait until another time.
Next time you feel jammed up, ask yourself, “Do I really need to put myself through this?”
I bet you that much of the time, the answer will be no. This way of thinking has saved me so much time and aggravation. I walked out of a nail salon because they told me to “come right over,” and then I sat there for 25 minutes. You guessed it, I got up and left. No one deserves to waste my time like that. I ended up finding a new place that is totally on it! I have never once waited more than two minutes to get my pedicure. This place has brand-new massage chairs that actually work. They offer me coffee, tea, or water for free. Everyone who works there seems happy. That’s the type of vibe I deserve. I encourage self-kindness.
Once I began this mindset, my life became so much easier.
It’s almost as if I expect things to work out, and they do. I assume people will be nice, and they are. Life is somehow fulfilling my need to not be annoyed by those who are supposed to provide me with a service. I can’t explain how this actually works, but I’m suggesting you give it a try. Don’t put up with situations that aggravate. You can get up and choose somewhere else. It is a very satisfying way to live.
Go meet your YouTube husband. Get those annoying life things out of your way and have a happy day of your choosing. We don’t have to put up with discomfort or bad attitudes. I never thought I’d be saying this, but “Thanks, technology!” The two of us are a match made in Heaven.
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through the Leftat50.com website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together! And check out my book, “Restarting Your Life When You Are. No Longer A Wife” I wrote it just for you!