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When The Sex Stops You Become A Butler

In a long-term relationship that is ending, there are so many signs that it’s time to split. That the loving couple are two strangers under one roof. Only the most mundane topics are safe.

You go from being his Beloved-Hot Mama, to Grocery-Shopper-Gal, Detective-Who-Finds-Contractors, Person-Who-Keeps-the-Refrigerator-Stocked, Lady-Who-Finds-A-Roofer, Person-Who-Makes-Sure-We-Have-All-Sizes-Of-Batteries.

Basically, at the bitter end, I was a butler, not a wife. I found myself, working full-time and taking on the full-time job of running the household. The car tune-ups, and all of the day-to-day minutia. It was my doing as much as it was his. I’ll just take care of it, so it’d be off the list. With all the other stressors between us, why add to the pile?

I’d turned into The List-Making-Get-Things-Done-Lady. Not a companion. Or a mate. Nor any kind of word for a couple found in a thesaurus.

There was no love in any of it anymore. I had taken on all these roles, but none of them was the other half of a real relationship.

Clearly, the sex ending was the precursor to all of this undoing. How does it happen if intimacy stops and neither person mentions it? Did we both know it wasn’t worth discussing because we were no longer attracted to each other? That’s what I think now, several years later. I have to let it go and Thank God I’m no longer the butler, the CEO of home maintenance, and one lonely lady.

That will be all, Sir.

We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together! And check out my book, “Restarting Your Life When You Are. No Longer A Wife” I wrote it just for you!

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