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When Marriages Become Driverless Cars, Pull Over

Although Driverless Cars are getting all kinds of interest in the real world, marriages end up on the Road To Nowhere, when no one is driving. The last several years worth of relationship journeys with the Ex were taken in just such a circumstance.  (I see you all nodding) We were both in the “car,” but neither one of us wanted to steer.  Marriage is usually a back and forth of who is behind the wheel depending on life circumstances.  If one spouse is overworked and stressed and doesn’t participate in those late-night planning talks, the other one gives them a kiss on the forehead and gets behind the wheel that week.

If one spouse is down with the flu, the other does the household chores.

It all works when there is mutual participation that is never even brought up because there is an agreed upon destination. Hence the expression, “We are in this for the long haul.”

After decades of shared driving, all of that flew out the window.  The marriage was a driverless car.  Neither of us knew where we were going.  Who wants to be making all the decisions about where a long-term relationship is headed?  Down this dead end?  Through this tunnel? Over this unknown hill?

If neither one of us has a destination in mind, then why the hell are we traveling together? We need to pull off the road, get out and abandon this wreck!

What was I thinking, staying on that silent, unpredictable car ride for so long?!!!

I received my answer shortly thereafter when it turned out the Ex had found a new driving companion years before.  That explained the silence.  The lack of opinion on what direction we were headed.  Cause they were two, very different directions.

I found myself in the driver’s seat with no mapped out plan.  I could go anywhere, but chose to remain close to the familiar.  Excited but stressed hands clutched the steering wheel.

In too many ways to even go into, I had chosen my New Life Highway.   Nerves jangled for a few miles, searching for an onramp I had never taken.  I am certain that all of you, my dear Leftat50’s, know this dilemma.

We are too determined to allow a new challenge to stall us.  Gradually, we get comfortable navigating this new road.   Driverless cars have lost their appeal!  We can’t wait to get behind the wheel because we have had a secret map all along!  We take it out and unfold it at last! It’s all so clear to us now. We’re all on the smoothly paved “Her-way” where no U-turns are allowed!

If you spot my smiling face behind the wheel on our journey, honk your horn and give me a Women’s Wave!

We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!

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