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Sometimes You Don’t Find a Path You Make One

When I bought my very first home, I really got into gardening. Years renting apartments and watching houseplants die had taken their toll. I was ready to rock out every patch of dirt on that land I now owned. No barren areas on my watch! Then a challenge arose. On one side of the house, there was an overhang and no sun ever shone there. So, every time I would look out that dining room window, all I would see was grey soil and a few weeds.

I couldn’t stand it. What would grow there? Nothing that was the least bit lovely to gaze at over my morning cup of tea. I decided to imagine something different. If not flowers, what else could that space be? One day, it came to me. In my beginner gardener’s eye I pictured a really cool space, no plants needed!

I envisioned small green gravel with circular peach walking stones winding in a path. Now my quest to make this a reality took a long time.

Because gardening places don’t sell stones at all. And places that do sell stones definitely don’t have gorgeous tiny green ones. They are grey or white baby, take them or leave them. This simply would not do.

But I ended up finding a place way, way out that is an actual quarry that had the beautiful tiny bright green stones I’d been imagining. This was becoming quite an exciting adventure, as I had never been to a quarry in my life.

I was able to get my gardener Ernie to drive out there in his pick-up truck to acquire however many cubic feet of stone we needed. Well, I had to walk the path that I saw in my mind and count how many circular walking stones it would take to get from one end of it to the other. I can’t tell you how many times I walked that patch of dirt in the path-shape I envisioned, while Ernie counted. Bless his heart.

We hit the 101 freeway and drove west until there was actual open land. Then, he turned off onto a sandy path and suddenly, my eyes revealed a gigantic hole in the earth where trucks were driving deep below me, collecting stones. I was wowed at how cool this was.

The men who worked there were incredibly. nice. They helped me choose my “dream green” stones and loaded tons of bags into the truck.

Off we went. My heart sung at my successful willing this into existence. From sipping tea in my dining room to standing in a quarry!

Then I had to find someone to open up these big bags of stone and put them down properly; and make sure the soil was level. That evolved into having to also buy bags of sand so the circular walking stones didn’t wobble when people walked down them. Ernie found a team of men to do the back-breaking work. I did my best to keep them filled up with sandwiches and sun tea.

By day’s end, it was a reality. I had my green stones with peach walking stones brightening up the side of my new home. It was a completely gorgeous space where there had only been grayish, dried out dirt!

Since that year, I’ve created all kinds of paths for myself, both personally and professionally. But it all started with bringing that actual path to fruition. You never know what the things you visualize might lead to! Happy daydreaming.

We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together! 

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