After watching the Academy Awards next day newsfeeds on Yahoo and well, everywhere, it became very apparent that the Internet brings out the mean in people. Especially when it comes to women’s appearance.
After reading horrendous comments about Whoopi Goldberg’s dress, I couldn’t help but notice the hatred not far underneath. Not encouraging kindness. This made me think about all the young impressionable girls out there seeing all of this vitriol. Many perhaps, for the first time in their young lives.
When I was little, there was of course, no Internet.
No mean Memes that get shared all over the world. Do we ever think about the actual people who are being subjected to this overwhelming hateful criticism? These are people who do not know this person commenting on their looks and not encouraging kindness. What has happened? We’ve gone from Joan Rivers asking actors, “Who are you wearing?” to critics far away in studios doing live critiques. The meaner the better it seems.
My preteen years were brutal at my school.
I can’t think of a single thing about my physical attributes that wasn’t picked apart by other girls. The big thing back then was starting rumors that some girl stuffs her bra. Seems so gentle compared to what goes around now.
I cannot imagine being a grown adult and hearing this drivel no matter what I wore. Cruel scrutiny every day. Even if I was out grocery shopping. We are teaching future generations that there is nothing wrong with posting cruelly about anyone anywhere instead of promoting kindness in schools through community service. What kind of world is this becoming? Focusing on all of this made me wake up with an amazing notion in my head.
What if…now stay with me…we all agreed that for one lousy year, we would not post any negative comments about how women, famous or not, look?
What would that “look” like? This morning as I mentioned I went to several sources regarding opinions of Whoopi’s dress. I’m not going to quote the actual cruel comments here. Let’s say it went way beyond her outfit in personal and vicious ways. Dare I say wicked? I started fantasizing a notion…and once I started I could not stop.
What if for one entire year, no one online said one comment about the way any woman looked?
Constantly I see opinions, on women’s size/shape of lips, size/shape of noses, size/shape of teeth, placement of cheekbones, and myriads of things we have no control over. If the woman appears to have “done something,” there are before and after comparisons galore. They compare her to herself and even to other women her age. Guess what? It’s her face to do with as she chooses. Perhaps all of those past comparison comments made her feel terrible, leading to her decision to have a procedure. I wonder why this is any of our business. It’s her face! It’s attached to her head. She was born looking a certain way. No control over her God-given gene pool. Must we place blame? Evidently, the answer is yes.
Picking apart clothing the men wore on social media was almost nonexistent this morning.
Adam Sandler did an entire bit about the dressed-down clothes he was wearing. He called them his, “Snazzy gym shorts and fluffy sweater.” I realize this was a comedy bit, but I searched today to find some ink about the “Fashion Fails” of the males in attendance. The Sandler comedy bit was all that came up!
But oh my goodness. Miley Cyrus’ bleached eyebrows. Meg Ryan’s hair. It should’ve been “a chic updo,” said Business Insider. Yes, Ladies, even “Business Insider” had a best-worst-dressed article this morning. Do you believe that? But of course, they did.
Now do you see why my proposal of no criticisms for one, tiny year is not so far-fetched? What a grand experiment that would be. Especially for us, my dear Left at 50 gals. How many times have we seen a woman our age being criticized for either dressing “Not age appropriate” or “Too Young for Her Age.” On the other hand, there are also comments that the woman looked “Matronly.” I looked that word up. It means “staid and dignified in a manner associated with a middle-aged, usually plump woman.” Did they need to put the word plump into the definition?
Even the dictionary mentions our weight. The dictionary!
The “meanest” comment I saw about a guy this morning referred to Ethan Slater’s suit. “Though his outfit was classic (a compliment first you’ll notice) it was also forgettable.” I’d call that a tiny “ouch.” at best.
I know to some what I’m saying may seem outlandish but I disagree. Some may say these critiques are all in good fun. Seriously? The comments I read this morning were cruel and depressing. I think stopping comments about clothing, looks, size of nose, bust, etc. would have a positive effect on everyone affected by it. Especially the women obviously. It would be a great social experiment, wouldn’t it? It would help overcome social anxiety.
Years ago there was a common saying. “Keep your opinions to yourself.”
Do you remember that? No one wanted to hear anyone’s unsolicited opinions. Times have changed and something needs to be done. How about instead of focusing on negative comments we started posting “Fun Facts” about people? Even about ourselves? Change the overall negative memes into positive ones. Remember this is only for one year. All the criticizers can type up lists to share as soon as the year is up. Then Mean Meme Day can resume. Sad that it’s every, single day these days.
“When should we begin this wonderful notion, Diane?” you ask.
You are getting into this too, aren’t you? I propose we start this Saturday. Why? Because Saturday is March 8th and happens to be International Women’s Day. It has been celebrated since 1910! The very first gathering all over the globe was in 1911. One million people took part. Perhaps you didn’t realize there even was a day celebrating ALL women everywhere. But there has been for the last 115 years. Let’s pull some focus to that while we’re at it. How amazing would it be to require people to say nice, complimentary things about women? Men too, of course, but that requires very little adjustment in habit.
It made me sad this morning to see how many spiteful things were written by women about women.
I thought we were supposed to have each other’s backs. Remember another old saying, “What goes around comes around?” Time to bring that notion back. Say complimentary things about some other women and it will come back to you.
My biggest question is about the men. Would men even be able not to criticize a woman’s looks for one, tiny year? How second nature could this eventually become after a meager 365 days? I’m not saying that some women wouldn’t have that same problem. But let’s be real, it’s a much smaller number of women criticizing men’s noses, or cheekbones. Or the size of lips or teeth. In fact, it’s the opposite most of the time. Many women proclaim to love bald men. They think it’s sexy. SEXY! Not something horrible that must be fixed to make mean comments stop. No one asks a woman why she’s still married to her bald husband. Or how she can stand his pot belly. That would be considered rude.
See how ridiculous turning the sexes on physical attributes sounds?
Women would never paint the phrase, “No Pot Bellies” on the side of their boats. Yet how many times have you seen the phrase, “No Fat Chicks.” Now do you get my point? Therefore, as part of this, I am proposing that several men get their boats repainted. I’m sure many female-owned painters would give them a good deal.
I believe that for now, I’ve gotten a lot off of my chest about this topic. The question is where do we go from here? If you support my grand experiment, let me know. Please jump aboard my boat and take a year-long cruise to Niceland with me. We can do this!
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through the Leftat50.com website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together! And check out my book, “Restarting Your Life When You Are. No Longer A Wife” I wrote it just for you!