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It’s Weird Being Nobody’s Daughter

I lost my Mom three weeks ago.  She was very ill and 91 and the merciful thing for Mother Nature to do was to let her leave this Earth.  It was sad but also a relief.  She had zero quality of life, the standard for so many medical decisions.  As sad as that experience has been, it was not unexpected.

What was unexpected is the weird in-between place I now find myself.  A place I am still struggling to come to terms with.  For the first time in my entire life, I am Nobody’s Daughter. This Mother’s Day I will not be buying and sending a card to my Mom’s nursing home.  I will not be calling her to make sure she got it.  I will not be sending her favorite, a dozen pink roses.

My father died decades ago.  That did not hit me the same way.  I was still somebody’s daughter and I was only 24 and perhaps that made me more resilient.  I was busy building a life. But that is not the case now.  I am in my 60s and I realize all of the changes life throws at us.  I have plenty of other friends who have lost their Moms. But no one prepared me for the odd realization that I am Nobody’s Daughter. 

There is no parent mentioning me and what I’ve accomplished to new people they meet. 

That has all gone silent.  And I never thought that was important to me until now.  No Mom will be singing my praises.  I don’t mean I need praise, it’s just the idea of not having a Mom out there.  In the World.  Expressing her thoughts about my life.

I didn’t know this would affect me so much.  I have never heard anyone else express this thought, though I am sure many have had it.  There’s not gonna be any Mom to call when I achieve something important to me.  No Mom to surprise with a gift for no reason.  It’s going to be weird.  From here on out. 

I guess time will pass and I will no longer feel this way.  I will adjust. 

But really, for the first time in my life, I realized what role my Mom played in my adult life.  She was that person I couldn’t wait to tell when some positive unexpected event happened.  The first person I thought of calling.  And that is weird.  It makes me feel empty somehow.  It is probably going to make achievements feel less important.  Cause there’s no Mom to call and say, “Hey Mom, guess what just happened?” There’s no Mom to be the first person I tell. 

Life goes in cycles and this was going to happen no matter what.  But even with the relief that she is not suffering there is this small inner voice telling me, “You are now nobody’s daughter.”

We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together! And check out my book, “Restarting Your Life When You Are. No Longer A Wife” I wrote it just for you!

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