Does your baggage have baggage? This is the thought I always have when I even consider getting to know a new man. Because, you know, that first coffee date is the usual get-to-know-you stuff. Never goes real deep. If that is not a disaster, there is a follow-up or two where more is revealed. Their life story, job history, interests in this and that.
After maybe a month, I always start to wonder if it’s time for the nitty gritty. How much am I vibing with this man? All of us Leftat50s know that there is always a story underneath the story. And the question is, “Do I need to know all of that?” For me, the answer has forever been a resounding “Yes”. Because it always seems to be that there is baggage inside their baggage. The things they don’t tell you. And if you don’t ask about it, then eventually, maybe too far into the future, it’s going to get unpacked.
Then I started to think, “Is this really fair of me?” Must I keep excavating the life of a man who seems perfectly nice? Must I know everything before I can decide if he’s “worthy” of me? Who the heck do I think I am?
Truth be told, I, yes little Miss Perfect Me, have baggage inside my baggage. A lot, actually. And if the tables were turned, what would I do? Wouldn’t I feel uncomfortable dredging up things that no longer need dredging? Does he really need to walk through the swamp of my past?
No, he does not.
Then why do I feel that I need to do this? Am I holding every man I ever meet in the future accountable for what one, lousy, cruel, selfish, cheating man did? I mean, really? I need to cut this out. For my own sake. I must relax into a new relationship, not come at it like a swashbuckler, sword in hand, ready to cut him to ribbons!
From here on out, I’m just going to take someone at face value. Exactly how I would want to be taken. No more panning for crap. No google searches, no conducting some kind of private eye background check!
My goodness, when did I become “that woman?” Enough of her! I want to be the free spirit. The woman who greets someone with a smile and an open heart. The one who leaves her baggage at home and stops looking for the reason to end something before it’s even begun.
This is going to be a herculean task for me.
That’s why I’m putting it out here for all of you to read.
I’m holding myself accountable for my actions. Because I owe it to myself to just be happy and enjoy what is. To be the woman in my mind’s eye. The cool, happy, woman experiencing a lovely evening with a nice person.
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!