Are you still “investigating” the “Case of Your Betrayed Heart?” I get it. I conducted my own investigation for years. And I’m here to tell you, it’s an unsolvable case.
In most crime shows, the victim is not the one investigating the crime. But when you are left at 50, you find yourself wanting to forensic your relationship. Dust it for fingerprints. Shine that blue light. Look for traces of residue that may still be in your head space. Because sometimes things that we think are totally gone are not. There’s still a fingerprint here or a shoe print there. Cross words. Lies. Belittling sentences. Cruel words left hanging in the air. In our heads. On our hearts. It’s time to clean the crime scene. It’s time to stop living in a “victim” mindset. And get on with our lives.
One way is to stop secretly thinking inside of our heads that the lives we live right now are really our “Lives After the Betrayal.” Because if we are still secretly doing that, we are not free of the victim mentality. And we deserve to suspend our self-sentences. Step outside the brick walls we resurrected in our hearts so we could cope.
I know you might be thinking, “That’s easier said then done.” I gotcha. I get it. So let me share a bit of my experience of keeping the walls up. During my self imposed sentence, many days were a struggle. For no reason, tears would suddenly strangle my throat. I lived in fear. It was like a “masked intruder” (my fear of moving on) had broken in through my broken-heart window.
Do you have one of those?
Time to get that replaced. Repair your heart. That’s scary. Here’s the cold hard fact: Once you start to feel healed you get to decide what your heart wants. That’s scary too. But fear has to stop ruling us. We are strong, fabulous women!
You have got to dismantle the “heart-crime scene.” There is no use constantly re-examining the Case of the Bad Marriage. Is there? So please put the “evidence” of that past heartache away. Let go of the magnifying glass. Stop examining your part over and over. The past is past. It’s time to move on to the next case. The case of you and your happy life. No mysteries there.
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!