“I love you in my own way.” This is the horrible answer I received to the question I once asked a man – “Do you love me as much as I love you?”
This answer knocked me over. Really? Is that an answer that I should choose to accept? Yet, how many of us have heard some version of that answer and hung in there anyway? I know I did. Hung. In.
As to why I accepted the crumbs of love that fell off the pedestal I’d put him on, and why I lied to myself that a pittance could sustain me, I have no idea. (If you have any thoughts, please share!)
But I do know this – I had been a version of the Settles For Crumbs Lady in Every Relationship I had ever been in! Including the one that lasted 25 years! Oh. My. God.
Once I had my revelation, I’m sure you’d assume I stopped accepting crumbs. But my dear Leftat50’s, you know that is not the case.
As a woman of a certain age, I feel I was indoctrinated to Never Eat The Cake. Both literally and figuratively. Society always seems to want women to shut up and go away. (Trump vs. Megyn Kelly, Rosie O’Donnel, Hillary vs. The World, etc.)
As I write this, I am trying to get back out there in the dating pool. Truth be told, my greatest fear is not a bad date with a man I can’t stand, though I know that’ll happen. No, the greatest fear is ME! That if it DID progress, would I choose to put myself second again? To be the supporter hanging in the background? To not say what I want and need? To tread water until my limbs are so tired that I sink?
Even if you’re not out there, please look at this post as a Caution Sign. But, instead of “Caution,” put the words, “OLD WAYS.” Then, take heed. Because doing what you always do will get you what you already had. And who wants that???
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!