Visit Page
Skip to content

Men 101: The Lesson I Can’t Learn & That’s Okay

When it comes to meeting new men, there seems to be a lesson I can’t learn. Reading all the books 📚 and magazine articles with suggestions about not repeating the same mistakes hasn’t helped. 

I’ve played coy but approachable and I’ve been The Approacher.

And it’s not as if I haven’t tried to make both my body and mind stronger and healthier since being Left at 50.  Makeovers, and “Well-Woman” classes have taken up many weekends.  The same goes with career focused seminars sponsored by professional organizations. Elbow rubbing?  Exchanging business contact information?

My professional life gets an A, my love life gets an F.

Does anybody have crib notes?

“There seems to be something I am lacking. Am I unapproachable? Am I unknowingly hiding even when I’m out?”

How I wish I could attend yet another event where not a single man talks to me and then do a short documentary on it. “Excuse me, Sir. Why didn’t you come say hello after we shared a smile?”

That would be like be an “uncomfortable making” thing to do, but I am at my wits end! It seems I have taken every approach as well as every non-approach. Playing coy, being aggressive, even the old standing casually near a man who seems interesting. They are always taking to someone else.

A man at an event, who I was talking to, kept looking over his shoulder as if he was seeing someone he knew. He then said, “Excuse me, I just saw my friend and need to say hi.” He then walked away and I decided to watch him. He crossed the room to the nearest exit and left. There was no friend!!! He was hightailing it AWAY FROM ME!🏃

It’s been emotionally exhausting. I share this because I know there are a lot of women who are experiencing this exact thing. It’s perplexing. Where’s our meet-cute story of “running into him at the gym, grocery store, DMV, dentist’s office?”

With all of this me-bashing, I am leaving out an important point: My life is pretty damn cool.😎

I do what I want to do and go where I want to go. I am invited to a lot of cool events and overall, I’m happy. I’m not writing this post in a “pining” way. I’m just perplexed. Of course, I prefer being perplexed at this point in my life to being terrified and miserable. That’s what I was every second of every day when I was a participant in the Marriage of Sulking and Silent Hatred. I’m honestly telling you, the only noise in my old-life household was the sucking sound of my one and only life going down the drain.

Writing on this topic, it has become apparent to me that I’m actually doing quite well. I’ve decided not to take the men who run from me as personal insults. I am accepting the fact that men apparently find me intimidating. All that means is that I have yet to meet my romantic match. And that’s okay.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to find formal attire for a big, fancy event I am attending this evening. I’ve been invited by one of my best girlfriends and we’re gonna do it up right! The sucking sound will be replaced by professional women laughing, clinking glasses and making contacts to better ourselves. Not bad for a Tuesday night!  How’s that for being at the head of my class?  I’m giving my man-free life an  A-plus.✍

We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!


  1. Kathy Cyrier-Bizjack Kathy Cyrier-Bizjack

    Diane…You really hit the nail on the head girl! I am a true believer that when one leasts expects it – it will hit us square right between the eyes…Not supposed to look for it. Used to be bummed…But we are OK and it IS gonna be worth the wait – if that ends up being what we want – it’s all about need, not want. You are awesome – wish you were back home … Miss ya 🙂

    • Diane Diane

      Thanks for Ur kind words Kathy. Was in Chi-town just last weekend for a bday party

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This