I’m sure you’ve all heard of a Doula. A kind of pregnancy assistant who helps a woman who is about to give birth. She’s a caregiver who provides reassurance, comfort and encouragement to a woman who is on her journey to bring a new life into the world.
It has crossed my mind, that these last several years since being walked out on, I have taken on a similar task. For myself.
I have to admit there was a huge learning curve for me in this endeavor. When I was first left, I had very few thoughts about caring for myself. I was too busy blaming myself for not being…whatever I thought the reason was he left me on any given day. All of them were negative of course. Extremely so. I know you’ve been there too.
I just kind of took on my Ex’s point of view about myself for awhile. I believed his rejection was the end-all-be-all of who I would be forever.
It was a sad, lonely life. It made me feel old.
Out of options, I decided to take a dance exercise class. It might be fun to do something good for myself. Be around new people. People who did not see me as the “Diane who had been left.”
This class brought me out of my shell. Of course, I hid in the back for months. But guess what? So did a bunch of other gals who hadn’t worked out in awhile! We called ourselves “Back Row People.” Because we were new, and kinda slow, and sometimes lost our balance and fell on each other! Then we’d crack up and go out for coffee. And suddenly, I was a Different Diane. I was around Encouragers instead of The Denigraters.
What a change. Now I was not only a Doula to myself, but a Doula to my classmates, several of whom had also been left, and were divorced and starting over.
It was such a great feeling to be able to talk them through stuff, while getting in shape at the same time!
This Doula thing has continued for me. I am assisting myself in every facet of this new phase. And I am doing it with kindness and reassurance, and respect.
If you are not being a Doula to yourself, you need to start! It will be so good for you! Right now, make a list of ways you can do things to encourage and support yourself.
Just like a pregnancy Doula, you are helping to bring a new life into this world – Yours!
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!