Once you are left, an interesting thing happens for the first time in your adult life: All roads lead back to you! It’s jarring to be sure. I realized this while standing in front of my bathroom mirror applying more waterproof (tear proof) mascara for the umpteenth time about six months after I was walked out on. It was a Thursday morning, and I realized I did not have to plan any weekend activities for “us” the way I used to.
“What are we doing this weekend?” he had asked me for the past twenty-four years-worth of weekends. Like most women, I was the “thing” planner.”📆
There was always a play, or an engagement party, or a cool movie at some remote movie theater to go check out with him. And now, I needed to start figuring out what to check out with myself, for myself.
Suddenly, I didn’t want to travel down any of those old, well-trodden roads. I didn’t want to go somewhere and have someone ask me where “he” was and then have to give the inevitable explanation. That is not a weekend to look forward to. Nor was a weekend spent doing the things we used to do, but doing them alone. Taste some weird free sample at the farmer’s market by myself? Not fun. Yeah, I know, I coulda called a female friend, or couple friends, but it all just felt tainted now.
I had to come up with new weekend habits. Untainted activities I could enjoy. Little by little, I figured out how to do that.😃
Did you know there are sites that list fun things to do on the weekend in your area? I didn’t. I was always the Figurer-Outer. So I took a chance and gave every single one of these places my email or downloaded their app. Concert venues, restaurants, new-agey outdoor fairs, etc. The great thing was, these activities were not only new to me, they were new to my friends as well.
Little by little, I started going out, taking a drive, “Getting the heck out of Dodge,” as my Mom used to say. And as I traveled down these literally new roads, I realized that these things this person called Diane was doing, were “Diane Things”. I had Diane Things! And I started to experience tear-proof-weekend after tear-proof-weekend.
I was not a single-woman-of-a-certain-age-Loser! Nor was I not the “standing awkwardly by herself” at the cocktail party Loner. I was the gal with the interesting story of the cool thing she drove an hour to go see where she ate Senegalese food and got into a conversation with a person who played the Didgeridoo! (And I’m not making this up, I actually went and heard an Australian Didgeridoo player!)
If you have been left at mid-life and are feeling like your life has become a dead end road, stop it!
“I am here to tell you first hand that there is an entire world of cool life experiences out there waiting for you!”🌎
And if you are being honest with yourself, these “new” things are things you’ve always wanted to check out, aren’t they?
Get out there, because guess what? Every road you go down now leads back to new, single, fearless, fabulous YOU!👏
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!