“Hello, it’s me. I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet, to go over everything.” – Adele
As Adele’s new, heartbreaking song “Hello” illustrates, there comes a time when we must stop reaching back. When we must let go of saying that final “Goodbye,” or “I’m sorry”.
Why do we feel the need to keep reaching back to the muck of the past? It can’t be cleaned up, you know. And even if it could be, it’s not our job.
Two people made the mess. One has gone on and forgotten about it. One wants to apologize, but fate won’t let her. So, drop that “sorry”-rock you’ve been lugging around with you. (or in some cases, the “sorry”-boulder!) and move forward.
YOU keep holding yourself back by not letting go. I guarantee you he does not want to hear your apology. I also guarantee – and slow down and read this for reals – YOUR TRUE GOAL IS NOT TO CLEAN YOUR SLATE SO YOU CAN MOVE ON.
Your Tricky Subconscious mind is lying to you. The real reason you want to clear the air is so in your Fairytale Head he will forgive you, and ask you, nay I say BEG you to be back in his life. Maybe things are slow in the dating department lately. Or you’ve given up on that idea completely – (“that part of my life is over!’ you declare incessantly to no one) When in reality, some part of you still wants your life outcome to best any rom-com that’s ever been written!
That’s the real reason that Adele wants that phone call returned. It’s also why he’s NEVER taking her call. Nev-er.
In her twisted mind, she thinks she’s making a grand gesture to reconnect. To him, it’s an uncomfortable conversation. He doesn’t need any more of that with her. He’s been there, done that. It’s in his rear view mirror.
If you are in this Adele conundrum, stop it. Stop contacting him. There’s no need to set things straight. But isn’t it so strange, how we can go from hating/despising a man, to thinking that we need to apologize? We believe we’ll have “closure” or “clarity” or some other trick/excuse of the mind.
Wow, we women really ARE complicated. I’ve been there and done that myself. Nowadays, I sometimes think about doing it, but I never do. Ever. I take a bath or go for a walk or to a movie until the insanity of thinking he’d like to talk on the phone with me and “go over everything” passes.
Because we’ve had our goodbyes in whatever form they came. There will be no hellos. Nor should there be. So give up that crazy idea, abandon that false hope, save yourself a lot of embarrassment and pain and say “Hello” to your new, happy life. Trust me, it’s the one you are meant to be living!
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!