Why is the word “sensitive” an insult now? I mean in the “man breaking up with me” sense. As soon as any man dances anywhere around this word, I know he is dancing away. He’s trying to tag my reaction to his abusive behavior onto me. So he can, in his mind, have zero responsibility for his words and actions.
And therefore, he never has to change.
I’m supposed to change. I’m supposed to not have a reaction. It seems a lot of men in my age group don’t want the complexities of a real-life relationship. They want the surface of it. But when confronted with the nitty-gritty they not only turn the table, they up-end it!
So, they can walk away clean and tell themselves, “That chick is nuts.”
On to the next one.
I am the one left sitting there wondering what the heck just happened? But I can sit there forever in wonderment, because he will never respond to that question.
Trust me. I have tried. Quite recently,in fact. To have an adult conversation. To resolve a conflict.
I actually got a response back. A text where he named all the things he’s done for me over the course of the relationship. You know, how when you’re in a relationship you “do stuff” for the person who is your lover? What a B-word I am to expect him to “do things.” He left out the part about all the things I have done for him. The lending of money, the late nights helping him with things related to his job, and on and on. I won’t bore you with all of this. I’m sure you have your own past experiences to fill in all the blanks. (Probably hundreds of blanks!)
He non-emotionally told me he was “grateful to have worked with me” and “excited to see what I will do in general.” Yes ladies, that’s how this was done. Evidently all those late nights and intimate moments were work related. So, obviously, I must be nuts. Just nuts! Seeing things where there is nothing to see!!!
Because I’m just too SENSITIVE.
I don’t plan on changing. Not one bit. Expecting kindness, compassion, and a gentle ear that listens to me when I speak, and takes into account that I have feelings and I get to state them and not expect to be walked away from, forever.
Doing my best not to be too sensitive over it but every now and then, I will admit my stomach hurts.
This too will pass. I don’t have to change. I just have to find the man who is not afraid of emotions.
Or not. Either way I’ll be fine, just me and my gosh-darn feelings!!
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!