“Remembering that in daily life, it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Angie Karan
When I was left, especially that first holiday season, I was kind of a seething pile of hatred. I was a major bah-humbugger every time I saw an ad for diamonds, or people caroling around a piano, etc. None of those things represented MY life. How could I expect to be in the holiday spirit in the horrible hole I was living in? I was living through hell! I didn’t want to see any of it. My goal was to Blot Out Christmas.
I did not venture into any shopping malls. I didn’t go to festivals, or even to church except on Christmas Day. My Aloneness had me by the throat. And for some reason, I didn’t feel a need to pry it’s fingers away. I guess I needed to STAY IN IT. I wanted to justify my misery. I. Stayed. Home. Yep. No tree. No presents. No travel.
I freely admit to all of this, because I know that many of you may be in this state this year. I won’t judge your right to feel exactly the way you are feeling.
But I really do love the quote above, because the way I got out of it was really looking at what I had to be grateful for. And boy, did I have a lot! NOT living in a horrible unhappy household anymore was a big one. Just that thought sent me to the tree lot to get myself a little tree. And that little tree needed decorating, so out came the ornaments. And you can’t decorate in silence, so I put on some holiday music. And that made me thirsty, so I made myself some tea in a Santa Claus mug and put a cinnamon stick in it. And on and on. And what do you know, I was enjoying the Holiday!!
I hope that this post and sharing my experience may nudge you, even a little, out of your holiday funk. Do something festive for yourself. Dig out those goofy Christmas earrings! Put up some lights! Whatever you think will make your living space a festive place of love and gratitude for the life you can live now. The beautiful life that’s made up of beautiful seasons that you can Deck the Halls about. Because, “…it’s not happiness that makes us grateful, it’s gratefulness that makes us happy.”
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!