How long has it been since you tended your own hearth? It is there, inside of you and has been untended for quite some time now. It’s chilly this time of year. We find ourselves longing for hot tea by a fire. The comfort in the crackle. It lets our minds wander to places we’ve never been. Whenever I stare into a fire, I lose myself. My unblinking eyes focus on the shapes and colors of the flame. Ever changing. Who knows what the next shape of the flame will be? It all depends on how much wood and wind and air is present.
When I was first left, it seemed my fireplace was barren most of the time. Other times it was an out of control blaze that left me fearful the house would burn down. Because in many ways, it had. There is both terror and comfort in flames. It all depends on how we deal with it.
This is our life now. A fire of our own making, or an empty shell of ashes to clean. I want the hope of renewal that fire brings. Even after a huge forest fire, small shoots will press up through the ashes, signifying that life goes on even in the most desperate and desolate of experiences. We need to know that we have choices to make on a daily basis now. Choices to comfort ourselves in ways we have neglected. We must do this now, with no fear. We are truly in control of our own inner fire.
When I was first left, I think I spent a year and a half tamping down the flame, that small flicker that was trying to emerge from the desolation of that old relationship. I had to finally succumb to facing the ashes and sweeping them away so I could find the fresh tinder that would help keep me warm. There was no shame in doing this for myself now. I was not a loser, or a throw away, or a woman who didn’t deserve warmth. Please listen to what I’m telling you, even if you are sure you will be cold forever. You won’t. It just seems like that now. But when you are ready, you will walk this world and choose your kindling and learn how to gently blow on that tiny match flame and know you are on your way to a lasting peace.
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!