In the midst of these heat waves, we are told to keep applying our sunblock, and cutting down our sun exposure, so we don’t get burned. This got me to thinking about my own life. My actual life choices and how I may be purposefully choosing not to expose myself to elements of everyday life. Things other people do without thinking. Or overthinking. Like being invited to a picnic. “Sure!” they say enthusiastically, glad to have someplace that is not their own house to go to. They throw a cute summer sundress on and head out. Here comes the fun!
Typically, that’s not how it goes for me. Before I head out, I think about how far of a drive, will I really know anyone and how hot is it gonna be there? I think about what toI wear and how late I shouldI stay .I consider the idea of getting there later, in case I feel out of place. That way I won’t have to stay as long. I consider the opposite plan. Arrive early and “help out” until everyone arrives and once I feel like I’ve put in enough time to kill most of the day, I can leave. To get important stuff done, like wash my hair, or do laundry, or check the air in my tires. You know, fun, “summer stuff” like that.
I’m starting to realize as I force myself to attend events, that other people do not hamstring themselves with self judgment before they head out the door. Clearly, these “what ifs” are a tricky way of “sunblocking” my life.
So I don’t have to live it.
Can’t get burned if I don’t go out. Into the summer sun. Into what could be fun. A new way of doing life. One that feels different. Different can make me uneasy. (You too?) I’ve already done different a lot lately. For several years now. I was Left the year I turned 50, remember? That was a big shift. I mean, how many changes must a lady of a certain age have to keep going through? Can’t things just settle down for awhile?
I can easily trick myself into thinking that not moving my life forward one iota is simply a “break” that I “deserve.”
Poppycock.
This is stagnation. This is overly protecting Self. This is Status Quo on a life that hasn’t reached it’s optimal status yet! It’d be like training all of your life to run in the Olympics and then right before the final mile marker, you run off the track. Cause, that’s good enough. Do you really need to experience that whole “Winner’s Circle” thing? Isn’t that for everybody else, not you?
Um, no. And you know that. So, slather on the sunblock, put on the big brimmed hat and stop SPF-ing your life!
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!