Many times in my life I have been side-swiped in my romantic life by men who changed lanes with no warning. I swear, I was just driving along the Relationship Highway, and all of the sudden I was spinning out of control and came to rest full of scratches and dents.
And more than a little bit in shock.
Because I consider myself a pretty ballsy, competent, put it all out there type of woman. And I expect the men in my life to be the same. Because I don’t like surprises. I’m too old for surprises. The bad kind.
I realize dating after fifty is more than a little challenging. I like driving down my own road, playing my own music as loud as I want. Looking at that unknown but beautiful horizon and just, heading there.
But every now and then, it’s nice to drive with someone else, you know? Hand them the wheel. Listen to their music. Be an adult who can accommodate others. The way I want to be accommodated.
Maybe you can relate to this. As I get older, I realize I value my alone time. No one can disagree with me, and I don’t have to pretend to be interested in something, well, I’m kind of not interested in. It’s time for me to stop that.
If I am really going to get to know a man worth knowing, I have to take my eyes off my own road. I honestly have not done that in a long, long time. I have a million excuses why I’m just “not that type of woman”.
And now, there is a big dent that needs to be fixed. My tunnel vision, my fixation, has led me astray. I need to share the road. The fact that I was broadsided by someone does not place all of the blame on this man. It is a fact that he saw me much differently then I saw myself.
And he had to swerve. He had to save himself from the confusion I was causing him. So, he couldn’t use his signal. Because maybe there would have been hell to pay. Or perhaps the equivalent of a very, uncomfortable car ride, to who knows where?
I am thinking of this now. I am vowing to make changes. Number one is just to be more aware. To really be there, the way I’d want someone to really be there for me. To share the road, and be on a journey together.
The car industry is planning to invent a car that drives itself. I think that may not be a bad idea. What a relief it would be to take my hands off the wheel and just be in the moment of life and on the road to a new adventure. No signal required.
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!