Truth be told, I don’t really want to begin another relationship. Starting at the Beginning with someone new seems exhausting. The “first meet,” the “getting to know,” The “physical chemistry,” the “hearing their past,” and on, and on, and on. If/when THAT doesn’t work out, am I then to begin the process all over?
Or worse, what if it works out, for say a year and then ends. Now I have to find ANOTHER man and do that dance again. Are there better uses for my emotional time? Would I be happier Skipping the Whole Thing?
Couldn’t I have a Perfectly Happy Life just traveling with groups of others, or going back to school, or doing more volunteer work? Wouldn’t that be more fulfilling then exposing myself to the kind of heartache I am still recovering from?
Or, perhaps that is the Heartache talking.
Am I throwing in the towel on a lasting love? Am I denying myself something that I guess could be rewarding at some point? Are all of the Future Uncomfortable Moments worth it? The dates, the Duds, the blah-blah-blah?
Truth be told, there is no easy answer. The only thing to do is hedge my bets. So, I’m not actively out there seeking a longterm mate. For me, that makes me a happier woman. This is of course as long as I fill the other corners of my life. Surely, with all going on in this world I can find ways to get involved and feel fulfilled.
But I must make sure I don’t deprive myself of LOVE out of FEAR. That I don’t actively HIDE from anything that could maybe blossom into a RELATIONSHIP.
And most importantly, that I don’t let the sting of being left keep me from reaching out my heart from time to time, and see who reaches back…
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!
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