If you have to ask the man you think you are dating if you are “a couple,” you are not dating him.
If he introduces you to others as his “friend,” then you are not dating him.
If he texts you and never calls you, that means he really doesn’t want to talk to you, and you are not dating!
If he never texts you unless YOU text him FIRST, he’s really not interested in you, but is keeping his options open – not dating.
When it’s always “Dutch” every time you go out, it’s not a date.
When all of his plans with you are last minute, it’s not a date.
When he drops you off and there is no mention of when you might hear from him again, you are not dating him.
I give you this list as a guide so you don’t waste time and make the same mistakes I have made. Time and again, I dealt with each and every one of these scenarios, and I told myself I was in a “relationship.” Of course, these “relationships” were never that at all. It was just that I didn’t want to face the fact that he was never going to be MINE.
Initially, he was, in my mind, the Man of my Dreams. Because, after all I’d been through, didn’t I DESERVE that?
Even as months went by, and none of the things that would have made him a real “boyfriend” happened, I just thought, “Well, I’ve spent a lot of time on this one, I should just keep trying.” This, from a woman who was Leftat50! Who put up being treated terribly for years. (I mean, decades)
Why was I refusing to pull my blinders off?
Honestly, it was the attention. I was willing to sit through a totally B.S. “date” just to feel like I’d been out on one! I’d be dressed up and he’d be coming straight from the gym. Oh, how I looked passed all of it. Until I had to get real with myself. And I’m SO GLAD I did. I would come home feeling so empty. I was setting myself up for Heartache Number Two! So I stopped. I deserve more than that. I will not settle. I will find someone who respects me as much as I respect myself.
So if you are having “illusions of intimacy” with someone, learn from me. Don’t let yourself down.
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!