Years ago, I was walking on a busy sidewalk with my dog Polo when an older man walking towards me tripped and fell. It was a hard fall. Flat on his face on the cement. I rushed to him as he rolled toward me. I could see he had scraped his cheekbone and it was bleeding. A welt was rising.
I offered him my hand to help him up, but he sputtered, “I’m fine!”
He struggled to his feet and stomped away. As I thought about his angry reaction throughout the day, a realization came. I had witnessed the moment when this senior citizen realized he was helpless. His frustrating reality was a shifting center of gravity. Defenseless. He was an old person who fell and struggled to get up. What a rough moment I had witnessed. A life-changing comprehension for this gentleman. He no longer can bounce back up. His invisible bruises were left by a sudden fall.
Decades have transpired. That memory has blurred. Until yesterday. That was the day I had a bad fall. Cleaning people were at my apartment, and one of them had laid a floor sweeper down on its side. I was crossing from my kitchen to my dining room; I had no idea it was there, and I tripped over its handle. Unfortunately, I was wearing my favorite red footie socks, and I slipped and slipped and could not stop slipping on the hardwood floor.
Then I fell on my right hip.
Suddenly, everything hurt. This was a very hard fall. Shocked, I realized I was breathing very fast and shallow. I was light-headed, and I was the one who could not lift myself off the floor. At all. For minute after minute. The heavy silence that followed a loss of independence.
Try as. I might, my arms were like Jell-O and had no strength to transition off the floor and to my feet. I gave in for several minutes, then slowly sat cross-legged on the floor. The cleaning gal stood over me for about two seconds, clearly not wanting any responsibility for the mishap. She offered no assistance and walked away. I sat there for about 10 minutes, recovering. Listening, thinking, and realizing, “Now I am the one I witnessed all those years ago. Who knew that one day I would be in this position.” That blurred memory came into sharp focus.
I remembered something I’d seen on television about falls.
I learned to slowly get to a crawling position in a situation like this. Then I grabbed onto a chair and carefully got to my feet. This entire transition took me at least ten minutes. I sat down, assessing that I was not seriously hurt in any way. I seemed to be okay, but I felt scared. This single misstep rewrote my daily routine. I became instantly aware that I had become an Older Adult who no longer immediately recovers from a fall. Not a cheery revelation.
Today I am convincing myself I needn’t start moving through the world with that mentality. That “Better not try that; I could get hurt” mindset. I decided it was best to focus on stability, balance training, and bone health. To resume doing various balance exercises I learned years ago. Some I learned in physical therapy for an injury I sustained. Others I was taught in a dance aerobics class I was part of pre-pandemic.
It was only an accident!
I didn’t see an electric broomstick on the floor. I am not old and infirm. I’m the same pretty good-shape woman I was before I tripped. Flat-face fall be damned! But there is no forgetting that I did indeed experience that moment. Those ten minutes recovering and catching my breath. Things are changing inside of me. Now I know, and I’ll keep an eye out as I move through the world. I need to get started as soon as possible. No more putting it off, obviously.
I have this set of stretchy bands draped over a dining room chair. I now make an effort to use them daily. No excuses. I also hold myself in a plank and do that exercise against a wall where it’s like I am in a seated position. I saw online that we all should be able to go from sitting cross-legged on the floor to standing up without using our hands. As of today, I cannot do that one, so it’s something to be aware of and start working on. I’m quite certain I can find a You Tube about how to get started.
But, most importantly, I will still be a part of life. I’m not trading confidence for constant caution. I will continue to meet friends for lunch, working out, baking banana bread, walking to church. I’ll try not to dwell on the ten minutes I tried to normalize my breath. In fact, I will redouble my efforts at maintaining my physical strength. Light hand weights, let’s get reacquainted. Those early morning Yoga classes I’ve been recording on my PBS station? Perhaps I’ll actually watch them and do the stretches.
I have decided to be grateful that I tripped and fell over that darn floor sweeper.
Because if I hadn’t, I would not have had any of these realizations. I assume this day comes for all of us. I hope this hits home for you. Don’t be me and have this happen to you. It was scary to have a fall like that as an adult. I think the last time I had the air knocked out of me was from a fall when I was nine. Picture little Diane, tumbling down a flight of stairs, rolling over to the washing machine, and hitting my head on it. I felt a lump forming and was totally out of it. Finally, my Mom called for me and came down. That was decades ago, but I remember it clearly.
Now and then, life gives us a wake-up call. For better or for worse. Like when we knew we were being cheated on and we were going to have to experience a complete life change. That life-altering experience made us stronger emotionally. We survived that wrenching upheaval that completely transformed our future life experiences. Now it looks like we need to maintain our physical strength as well. We got this.
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through the Leftat50.com website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together! And check out my book, “Restarting Your Life When You Are. No Longer A Wife” I wrote it just for you!