When you are Left at 50, when he’s packed up, gone, moved on, it’s over, it’s easy to gaze at the empty closet and start blaming yourself. You know what I mean. Blamey Self-Talk. “Why did I commit the Sin of growing older?” “Maybe it’s the 20 pounds I gained during the decades we spent together?” “Why do I have a bad back?” Or “A stiff knee?” Or “grey hair?” “I became not sexy!” “That’s why he left!” “It’s. All. My. Fault.”
Now that I’ve written this down, and you are reading it, I am sure you can see how utterly ridiculous those thoughts are.
First of all, you know for a fact that all the blame is not on you. Two people were in the relationship. As far as the Cardinal Sin of Aging goes, unless he found some magic potion, I am certain the silent-sullen, or angry-yelling, or bald-chubby-but-cocky man who walked out was not the man in your wedding album. In fact, he’d become a stranger to you. Is that who you want to live the rest of your life with? A Complete Stranger? Or, to be more accurate, I should say, an Incomplete Stranger.
So you know for a fact that you can stop blaming yourself. FOR ANYTHING. Right Now. To-day. Because it would have happened anyway. Because it was his choice to stray. To not stay and work on the relationship. But that’s okay. It’s over now and you get to start over. And be happy. Step out of that dark box on the back shelf where you’ve been hiding, or suffering in silence, or eating, or drinking, or self loathing.
Because you know that when you play The Blame Game no one wins. So cut it out and go play Candy Crush! Now that’s a fun game!
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!