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“OK” Is Not Enough: Practicing Your “Party-Talk”

Ever since I was left at 50, I find it hard to answer the “How Are You?” question with anything but an “Ok.”  There are just too many complicated emotions, right?  The late-night insecurities, the “How’d this happens,” the “I have no idea what I’m doings.”  So,  that old standby word “Ok” seems like a good way to go.  The problem with the “Ok” I am finding though, is that by it’s very definition it’s a mediocre way of being.

It’s like saying, “My life is acceptable, or satisfactory, or tolerable.”

Is that really what we deserve after all we have been through?  I don’t think so.  With the holidays coming there are going to be many questions posed to us about how we are.  I don’t know about you, but I decided to give myself a head start to my responses, not so much for the person asking me, but for myself.  There has to be a more positive sounding and self-empowering answer.  Something not too generic, but not so bogged down with honesty that the person feels uncomfortable.

“I’m starting my life over here!  I don’t want to describe it as just Ok.”

I mean, we can’t say, “Well, I feel totally alone and lost and angry and cheated on.” That type of thing.  In the realm of casual conversation we know that’s not the way to go.  I think that coming up with these appropriate responses is a good idea for all of us Leftat50’s.  Because the generic response makes me depressed.  I mean, heck! I’m starting my life over here!  I don’t want to describe it as just Ok.  That’s not enough.

I deserve more.  I deserve to say I’m doing great.  I’ve really adjusted.  I’m glad it happened. I’m in a good space.

I’m certainly in a more upbeat mood these days.  I’m making big plans for the future, I might take a trip, go on a cruise, or whatever your newfound bliss is nudging you towards.  These should be our answers.  It’s not as if we are lying.

I guess what I’m doing here is suggesting that we all think about rewriting our “party-talk” script sooner rather than later.  The more we re-categorize ourselves the better it is for us. When meeting new people now, I don’t bother to say I’m divorced.  I just say I’m single. Because that response doesn’t come weighed down with any baggage that I might have to sort through in my heart of hearts.

We are incredibly life-smart women.  We know a thing or two about a thing or two about our own stories . We are just writing our stories in a different way now.  And that’s okay – in the best way possible!

We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!

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