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Why I Never Need To Speak To My Ex Again – Ever

I’ve decided that I never need to speak to my Ex again – ever.

Because I don’t need to have a fake, “everyday” conversation while millions of ugly unsaid words hang in the air between us.  (“Why’d you cheat, lie, leave me, refuse counseling, use ugly language towards me, only talk to me through third parties,” etc.)  An everyday conversation with him would be a joke!  I don’t need to partake in conversations that go like, “How’s your Mom? Have you seen so-and-so lately? How about that rock band we used to love.”, etc.  I’d categorize those as a Useless Conversations.  We’d had many of those during the final years of our relationship debacle.  It wasn’t fun.  It actually made me ill.  Actually ill.  Sound familiar?

“This is not a Bitter Ex-Wife proclamation.  It’s an Empowered Woman proclamation.”

If so, than why would any of us have any need at all for “small talk”. We’ve been cheated on and Left at 50, so we’ve pretty much outgrown that little act of casual politeness we afford others.  Old bosses, neighbors, grade school friends, etc.

I really, truly, could care less how he’s doing, what’s been going on, or if he’s traveled lately.

Making this decision empowers me to know that I won’t ever feel any need to so much as give him a nod if he should cross my new glorious Him-less path!

I do however, feel the need to clarify the tone of this pronouncement.  This is not a Bitter Ex-Wife proclamation.  It’s an Empowered Woman proclamation.  One that I am proud to share with you.  Because I have gotten there! I have arrived at an amazing place in my life journey, the one with my back turned to the past that I do not wish to change!

Because those first few years after the break-up of a long-term relationship can be tricky.  I know parts of my brain, (the sleepy yet angry parts) kept insinuating that maybe, one day, it would all do a U-turn and I would return to being one-half of a relationship that was nurturing and soft.  I am happy to say, I have recovered from that unrealistic expectation.  And more importantly, I truly don’t want that to be my reality.  So, if you are a fresh stepper onto the New Life path, don’t worry.  You are going in the right direction!

For me that includes step after step away from the 24-year-relationship.  As I continue to make my own trail, I truly see no need to ever speak to my Ex again – ever.  It’s calming.  It creates a stillness within.  I realize this idea is not for everyone.  God bless the “We are still good friends” Exes.  That’s not my situation.  And that’s just fine.

We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!


  1. Reality Reality

    Article sounds bitter w a splash of hopefully lemon to keep it looking fresh.

  2. Helen Helen

    I am 50 too relationship was also 24years. Ex cheated and left me. Compketely out if the. Lue 9 months sgo. Stupidly I thought we wete happy. We have 3 kids. He sees them occasionally. Gone back to full time work after 19 years. He wont speak to me. I feel shunned. Everyone i know including both our families have bern amazing. I struggle how to cope with being “shunned”. I want never to look upon his sorry face again but for some reason I cant move on because i want him to care about our children. I need to move on.

  3. DML DML

    Bitter? Is that what you call businesses that have been cheated financially and decide that it would be bad business to deal with the financial cheaters? Are they expected to forgive and forget and do business with the financial cheater(s) who lie, mis-represent or whatever? The business decides it’s bad business and they disconnect all business ties. They’re “bitter” with a dash of lemon? There is no difference in a personal life choice to do likewise and it makes perfect personal business sense to stay away from liars, cheaters (again liars). Don’t we want to teach our youth (not talking little kids) that there is a consequence or consequences when you lie to people? Since when is teaching and role modelling the ability to refrain from wasting our time, the most valuable commodity we have with people who care so little about lying to someone? Sorry… But your statement just sounds like you’re the kind of person who would lie to someone and if the other person you lied to was pissed enough to shut you out of their life, you wouldn’t own the fact that you are a liar but would just criticize (like you already did) the person who simply strives for truth in their lives (which is not a bad thing to do).
    Good luck Reality. Sounds like you have a bit of emotional maturation ahead of you. Hope you don’t have kids and teach them likewise.

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