Ever since I was left at 50, I find it hard to answer the “How Are You?” question with anything but an “Ok.” There are just too many complicated emotions, right? The late-night insecurities, the “How’d this happens,” the “I have no idea what I’m doings.” So, that old standby word “Ok” seems like a good way to go. The problem with the “Ok” I am finding though, is that by it’s very definition it’s a mediocre way of being.
It’s like saying, “My life is acceptable, or satisfactory, or tolerable.”
Is that really what we deserve after all we have been through? I don’t think so. With the holidays coming there are going to be many questions posed to us about how we are. I don’t know about you, but I decided to give myself a head start to my responses, not so much for the person asking me, but for myself. There has to be a more positive sounding and self-empowering answer. Something not too generic, but not so bogged down with honesty that the person feels uncomfortable.
“I’m starting my life over here! I don’t want to describe it as just Ok.”
I mean, we can’t say, “Well, I feel totally alone and lost and angry and cheated on.” That type of thing. In the realm of casual conversation we know that’s not the way to go. I think that coming up with these appropriate responses is a good idea for all of us Leftat50’s. Because the generic response makes me depressed. I mean, heck! I’m starting my life over here! I don’t want to describe it as just Ok. That’s not enough.
I deserve more. I deserve to say I’m doing great. I’ve really adjusted. I’m glad it happened. I’m in a good space.
I’m certainly in a more upbeat mood these days. I’m making big plans for the future, I might take a trip, go on a cruise, or whatever your newfound bliss is nudging you towards. These should be our answers. It’s not as if we are lying.
I guess what I’m doing here is suggesting that we all think about rewriting our “party-talk” script sooner rather than later. The more we re-categorize ourselves the better it is for us. When meeting new people now, I don’t bother to say I’m divorced. I just say I’m single. Because that response doesn’t come weighed down with any baggage that I might have to sort through in my heart of hearts.
We are incredibly life-smart women. We know a thing or two about a thing or two about our own stories . We are just writing our stories in a different way now. And that’s okay – in the best way possible!
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!