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Three Post-Breakup Words: Treat Yourself Gently

If you have recently been left at 50, or any other age, and are trying to reclaim your life, you need to know this.  A) You are not alone, and B) This breakup isn’t about Him anymore, it’s about You.

You and your new life without wondering where he is at 2 a.m., or why he’s sleeping in a different bedroom, and a million other details that are too exhausting to go through right now.  Now is not the time for all of that.

Because I know how it feels to be a woman who’s just been walked out on and at first, we can only do a thing or two at a time.  But this will pass and you will come to realize that you have a Whole New Life to think about.  I find it’s less overwhelming to take baby steps.  So, first of all, get up off the floor, either literally or figuratively.  Get. Up. You are an Awesome Woman with a lot to offer.  How about you offer it to Yourself for once?  You finally get to ask, “What makes Me happy?” Not, “What does he want for dinner?” You get to ask, “How am I feeling today?” Instead of, “I wonder if he took his blood pressure medicine?” The care taking of him is over.  The care taking of ourselves gets to begin Right Now. Wow, we better learn how to do that.

Sit with yourself, and think about this.  Think about what you can do to make yourself feel better.  Today. Now. This Week. This Month. This Year.  When was the last time you did that?  Hmmm, can’t remember huh?  Well, there’s a gift of this break-up right there!  Just You, thinking about what You can do just to make yourself happy.  I actually sat down and made a list.  Some of it was crazy (marry Johnny Depp, Go To the Moon, etc.) and some of it was simple.  Like getting a manicure.  I had fallen down so hard I had stopped doing even simple things like that in my quest to figure out the impossible – why was he leaving me?  The Real Reason, not the Avoid My Eyes and Mumble Something Reason.  I had to let that go.  I had to.  And so do you.  So please dispense with the Berating Yourself Phase, and get to the Little Things That Make You Smile No Matter How Silly Phase.   Your life is your own now.  That is not a sad thing.  The hell you were living in and the disrespect you were putting up with – THAT was a bad thing.

I came up with a slogan that helped me cope with this difficult transition.  I put it on a post-it note and I stuck it to my bathroom mirror.  It said, “Treat Yourself Gently.”  I hope you do.

We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!

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