“I always feel like I’m not sure I can do it…The problem is when you have this expectation that you have to do everything excellently.”
When I heard this from Maggie Gyllenhaal this morning on The View, I so related.
Do you do this to yourself? Do you hold yourself to such a high standard that you knock yourself for your accomplishments?
I know that after I was Left at 50, and had to restart everything, this is how I felt on a daily basis. I convinced myself I had to handle every Life Detail all By Myself. And then when I did that, I berated myself for not Doing It Exactly Right! It was as if my Ex’s voice was still in my head!
The truth as I see it now is, doing something, anything, and doing that thing “less-than-perfectly” is better than Doing Nothing. And you know what? Now that I am completely on my own, I find I accomplish much more than when I was stuck in the Unhappy Relationship. When I was toughing that mess out, I often didn’t do certain things just so that I wouldn’t hear his criticism. I just got sick of hearing it. It seemed as though even the tiniest thing would meet with his disapproval. I can see now, that all of that was really part of the unravelling. Part of his falling out of love with me. It wasn’t that I was doing anything wrong at all. His not acknowledging anything in a positive way became a norm I lived with. But I kept trying anyway. To do everything excellently for all the wrong reasons. What a sad life.
Now I praise myself in my own way for my accomplishments. What a joyful way to live! What a motivating way to live! So whatever task you do today, give yourself a big pat on the back. And keep doing so. You are fantastic. You are moving forward. You deserve it!!
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!