In the midst of all these heat waves, we are all told to keep applying our sunblock, and cutting down our sun exposure, so we don’t get burned. This got me to thinking about my own life. My actual life choices and how I may be purposefully choosing not to expose myself to elements of everyday life. Things that other people “just do” without thinking. Or overthinking. Like being invited to a picnic. “Sure!” they say enthusiastically, glad to have someplace that is not their own house to go to. They throw something different on, (or not) and head out.
Typically, that’s not how it goes for me. I don’t just go. I think about what it’s like out, how far of a drive, will I really know anyone? What do I wear, how late do I stay? Should I come late in case I feel out of place and that way I won’t have to stay long? Or should I arrive early and “help out” until everyone arrives and I feel like I’ve put in enough time to kill most of the day so I can leave? To wash my hair, or do laundry, or check the air in my tires. You know, fun, “summer stuff” like that.
I’m starting to realize as I force myself to attend events, that other people do not hamstring themselves with self judgement before they head out the door. I’m also realizing that these “what ifs” are a tricky way of “sunblocking” my life.
So I don’t have to live it.
Can’t get burned if I don’t go out. Into the summer sun. Into what could be fun. Into a new way of doing life. A way that feels different. Different makes me uneasy. (You too?) I’ve already done different a lot lately. For several years now. I was Left the year I turned 50, remember? That was a big shift. I mean, how many changes must a lady of a certain age have to keep going through? Can’t things just settle down for awhile?
I can easily trick myself into thinking that not moving my life forward one iota is simply a “break” that I “deserve.”
Poppycock.
This is stagnation. This is overly protecting Self. This is Status Quo on a life that hasn’t reached it’s optimal status yet! It’d be like training all of your life to run in the Olympics and then right before the final mile marker, you just run off the track. Cause, that’s good enough. Do you really need to experience that whole “Winner’s Circle” thing? Isn’t that for everybody else, not you?
Um, no. And you know that. So this Fourth of July weekend, slather on the sunblock, put on the big brimmed hat and stop SPF-ing your life!
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!