When Oprah presented her Golden Globes acceptance speech it was a transformative moment, not just for her industry, but for women everywhere. Those rousing nine minutes brought to light several truths about male/female relationships. One of the largest realizations for us Leftat50’s, is that the way a man treats the woman in his life at home is also the way he will treat the women around him at work.
I think this is emblematic of the way things have been in all “professional” industries for years. As someone who was cheated on and left, that is a form of emotional abuse and disrespect. Men can take that disrespect from their homes right into their offices. When they make sexual remarks or engage in sexual touching of a female in the coffee room, in the board room or in the office after work.
When they force a kiss on them, when they don’t move them up in the ranks due to the rejection of an advance, all of these behaviors in many cases have something to do with the way they treat their wives at home.
The men, however, don’t even know they are doing this. They are able to compartmentalize their acidic behavior.
In other words, a husband and father can think he’s a “great” husband and father even though he’s cheating, whereas a CEO of a company can think he’s a great and successful CEO because of the bottom line, but still be an ass grabber. And both of these people are the SAME MAN. This the overall lesson that has become apparent to me as I have started my life over at 50 and navigated both the world at large and the workplace.
The truth as women in the workplace see it, is that there is no difference. The women we are at home, are pretty much the same people we are at work. In all of my working years, I have never once even considered “hiding” who I really am at home to my co-workers. But then again, I was not a person who cheated on my spouse. And I certainly did not keep a “boy” at the office who I had dalliances with. When ugly secrets are kept all over the psyche, they tend to burst forth somewhere.
The man who is a jerk at work will then also be a jerk at home. As with the Weinsteins of the world, even the richest, most successful of evil men will, at some point be the undoer of their own “perfect” lives. Because it’s all lie. A bunch of clap-trap. And all of the ego, and All the Kings Men, can never put that conundrum together again.
I’m sure there will be a lot of push-back towards Oprah’s rousing call for a “New Day” from those who would like to keep women down forever. Perhaps one day soon, the shoe that is on the other foot will be wearing a high heel.
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!