I’ve realized that I need to stop “Jenga-ing” my life. Do you know this game? You stick wooden blocks in a specific pattern and then keep removing pieces until the tower falls.
Could there be a better metaphor for a failing marriage? My Ex and I had spent decades carefully stacking our Life-Together Tower. And as the years went by, each lie I heard which I never confronted him about, was another block of wood removed from the tower. Each time he refused to have “the talk.”
Until I finally shut up. It was easier to live each day not asking. I knew the answer anyway. I wanted to hear it from him, but accepted the silence and went on with my day. My job, the laundry, smiling faces in public, acting like nothing horrible was happening on family holidays.
“Each lie was another block removed. Making the tower weaker and weaker.”
Then the tower fell, as of course they all will. I went on to live my own life. Build my own tower. Seemingly strong and unshakable. But old habits die hard. And I found myself pushing through those blocks. One here. One there. Weakening my own structure. Why? Why would I do such a thing?
Because somewhere inside, I didn’t think I had it in me to stand alone. Surely he had hurt me beyond repair. Couldn’t I use his betrayal as a reason to topple over for good? Wouldn’t any woman do that?
Now I know this way of thinking is all part of the transition. This mid-life reconstruction. It’s so jarring at first. But like anything life hands us women, (and that’s a lot!) we figure it out. We get by. Accumulate life knowledge. Know that panic achieves nothing. That level headedness will get us through and we needn’t do anything to make ourselves feel weak.
If you recognize yourself in any part of this, it’s okay. Once we see what we are doing to ourselves, we will choose to stop.
The structure you are building is going to last because this time, you are the architect!
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!