When you’ve been Left at Fifty, it’s easy to feel as if you want to give up. I mean, he gave up on me, right? That means, I can give up on myself. I can settle for What Is. I can Stop Trying. This may be because you don’t even know what to Try For anymore. It’s all just Too Much. It’s Too Taxing. It seems like a lot of work with an unknown outcome. Kinda like marriage, huh?
I know this because I’ve been there too. And you must trust me when I tell you that this is a phase. It’s a phase I still go in and out of, but I have made some progress in working through. First of all, you have to know that you now have an incredible opportunity. The opportunity to make your own happiness! And by that I do not mean a tub of ice cream on your belly while you watch AGT or some other stupid dancing show.
You need to get up off the couch. Right. Now. Get up, shower, brush your teeth. The days of The Schlub are over if you want them to be. I know people preach about “loving yourself” and blah, blah blah. What they don’t get is what I know you’re feeling: When someone you’ve been with for most of your life stops loving you, it’s not as if one walk in the park is going to make you love yourself again. Really love yourself. But I’m asking you to make it a goal. Because it’s such an important one. You have been given a huge opportunity. You get to love yourself in Your Way now!
Stop trying to love yourself THROUGH HIS EYES! Yes, all you self-haters, and self-doubters, THAT is your problem!! It’s why you feel so low, so stuck, so down, so sleepy, so chubby, so blah. All the mean things that he said to you, either throughout your marriage or through the ugly bitter end. Those mean words piled up in your head. Those things are the Weight of Hate that’s keeping you on the couch. And now that you’ve read this last paragraph, I want you to read it again. Maybe two or three or a hundred more times.
Because once you realize this is part of your blahs, you can deal with it in your own way and Get On With Your Life!
Stop looking at yourself through the prism of him.
He’s gone. I know the words hurt you deeply. All. Those. Ugly. Words. Please choose to let go of them. Please write yourself a poem about the Wonder of You. Or a song, or paint a picture, or do anything you can think of to touch your own heart. The one that is slowly healing. The one that wants to sing again. To dance again. To laugh again. To see your own beauty again. To Love You Like You Do – What are you waiting for?
We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!
Being left at any age is devastating but older women are still very attractive look after yourself and you will pleasantly surprised at the amount of attention you get from younger guys so its not all bad,silver lining and that.
Thanks for your perspective. Silver linings are always something to look for.