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Dating Ads for (Late) Middle Agers

Late Middle Agers have no patience to be endlessly paging through heavily doctored singles ads.

Let’s just be real!!!

TRUE DATING ADS FOR (Late) MIDDLE AGERS:

Recovering hip replacement chemist seeking lady who does not like physical pastimes to lay on the couch and order in with me while watching football and soft porn.

Very near-sighted perfectionist seeks unopinionated man for fun, frolic, and crossword assistance. No jigsaw puzzlers please.  I like to eat on my dining room table.

Disgraced alcoholic surgeon seeks non judgmental man to enroll in weightloss programs. Must love cooking low-fat recipes and agree to a forty minute evening walk. Cheaters need not apply!

Man seeking woman who likes to drive everywhere.  I am tired of driving. If your pastime is redecorating on a budget, that’d be good too.

Cranky complainer seeks gal who’s given up on herself to sit on my front porch and yell at neighbor kids who are probably high on Meth.  Must also enjoy removing dandelions and repairing broken kitchen chairs.

Slightly deaf 60-something seeks man who will allow me to buy him a new TV watching chair so I don’t feel like I’m living in death’s waiting room.  Must enjoy online bingo and occasionally make a big pot of chili.

70-something woman (who looks like a vibrant 60!) seeking non-arthritic man with a friends and family phone plan.  (Sprint cut back my minutes!)  Please note: I do not give calf massages, so plan on wearing your compression socks.

60-something woman seeking beaten down man who has given up on life.  You will be the home-watcher while I travel the world with a pack of sizzling senior gals who are up for anything.

72-year old male seeks able bodied 42-year old woman to accompany him to relatives’ weddings so people will stop ask me how I’m doing or telling me if I ever need a ride somewhere they will take me and then we can go to Ruby’s afterward.

We all go through major life transitions when relationships end… Through this website, I will share my thoughts as I walk the path of “New-Self” discovery. It doesn’t matter which side of 50 you are on. The real question is, Are you ready to live life? To forge a Path of Your Own Making (For a change!)? Then stop dwelling over the What-Might-Have-Beens and join me. Share your thoughts here, comment on mine, and let’s do this together!

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